The Gilbreths, whose sole claim to fame is that they have never heard of birth control, stage an unwelcome return in this, the sequel to the insipid Cheaper By the Dozen and the results are more of the same: meandering stories that don’t hold your interest, moments designed to evoke laughs that succeed only in provoking yawns, and the complete downplaying of all but about two or three of the daughters. Continue reading
From Here To Eternity won eight Academy Awards back in 1953, but not Best Actor. I assume that Montgomery Clift and Burt Lancaster split the votes in that category though it’s hard to argue with winner William Holden’s performance as the crabby lone wolf in Stalag 17 either.
Clift was the heart of the picture, batting his doe-like eyes to and fro, refusing to break under all the pressure heaped on him by a boxing-obsessed captain, while Lancaster was the libido of the film, testosterone practically oozing from every pore as he eyed the Captain’s wife in a way that only someone like Lancaster could get away with. Continue reading
Right out of the gate this movie suffers from a major handicap: the suspension of disbelief that it requires as it relates to its casting is bigger than the size of the brood that is apparently supposed to be the major selling point of the film. Continue reading
I’ve always said that when you’re a rich guy who gets bored with the endless parties, the mistress of the week, and the decision making that goes into what new country estate to purchase, the only thing that can snap you out of your rut is an affair with an underage girl. Continue reading
I know it’s difficult to imagine ants growing suddenly huge and quite unfriendly. After all, we spent our childhoods alternately raising them in those cool little ant farms and setting them on fire with magnifying glasses. Those bonds formed between us and them aren’t easily broken. Continue reading
For all the pansies in the audience who are afraid to go to their doctor for a shot, The Amazing Colossal Man is quite possibly the scariest movie ever made. With an oversized needle being rammed into the ankle of the 60 foot tall lunatic roaming around the Nevada desert, the expression of anguish shown by Colossal Man only serves to confirm their worst fears about being inoculated against diseases like measles, whooping cough, or in this case, plutonium-induced gigantism. For normal folks though, it’s just a movie whose big climax involves a guy getting a shot. Continue reading
Even though I had never seen The Black Scorpion before, I actually had. You see, the Earth has once again gone and shoved it up our collective bums by coughing up another mutant-sized pest. Luckily for us Americans, it was all happening down south of the border in Mexico where the only people who would get trampled and all stung up by these overgrown creepy crawlies would be those guys who stole all our jobs with NAFTA’s help. Continue reading
It only makes sense that if you’re going to spend a certain amount of money traveling to shoot a film, that it would really only cost half as much if you went ahead and shot two films once you arrived on location. However, what makes sense for director Roger Corman, might not necessarily make any sense for the rest of us. Continue reading
Leslie Nielsen is Commander Adams, the skipper of a starship headed to the distant planet Altair-IV. The mission is to investigate what happened to a spaceship full of busy bodies that disappeared there about 20 years ago.
Once near the planet, Adams and his crew pick up a transmission from a man identifying himself as Dr. Morbius. Morbius radios that everything is A.O.K., everybody else is dead, and there’s really no reason why Adams and his crew should land and investigate everyone’s mysterious disappearance. Commander Adams though is well chosen for his job because he smells something fishy and it isn’t Cookie’s space tuna surprise! Continue reading
This particular version of the Robin Hood story is a rather lacking one. I’m not one to go around blaming one particular person when it involves such a collaborative craft as filmmaking, but it’s clear that this is all star Richard Todd’s fault. Todd’s problem as Robin Hood is mainly that he doesn’t look or act like a convincing rogue, but like a guy playing dress up in the school play. Continue reading