Category Archives: Bikers

Hell’s Belles (1969)

HellsBellesPoster2014This is the movie where Jeremy Slate finally puts it all together! At last, Jeremy Slate unleashed and untamed, riding roughshod all over the desert southwest in search of his stolen motorbike, a taciturn biker-cowboy who lives by his own code! And who loves on his own terms!

The promise he showed in the laughable Hell’s Angels propaganda movie, Hell’s Angels ’69 comes to fruition with his steady and steely performance in Hell’s Belles as he’s freed of his dopey sidekick Tom Stern as well as the even dopier story from that flimsy film. Continue reading

Hell’s Angels ’69 (1969)

Hells Angels 69 PosterThe selling point with this biker flick is that the unkempt guys with bad attitudes are the real Hell’s Angels. How that was supposed to be a selling point eludes me since the only thing I learned about Sonny Barger and his Hell’s Angles from this movie is that they drink a lot of beer, smart off to authority figures, don’t practice much in the way of motorcycle safety, and are easily duped by outsiders. Continue reading

Escape from the Bronx (1983)

Bronx Warriors Two Italian PosterWhen we last left headband-clad biker tough Trash at the end of 1990: The Bronx Warriors, he was wandering the wreckage of his beloved Bronx after firing a grappling hook into Vic Morrow and briefly lamenting the death of the girl who had first caused him to rip off the plot of Escape From New York. Continue reading

1990: The Bronx Warriors (1982)

Bronx Warriors PosterThe year is 1990 and the Bronx has been declared a “No Man’s Land” where the only law is the law that the various gangs can enforce on their own. I wasn’t too sure why the people in charge just threw up their hands and said “we give up” on the Bronx, but I’m guessing that maybe if you lived there in 1982 when this movie was made, you would understand.

The action in this movie stems from the fact that Ann is about to turn of age and inherit her interest in the Manhattan Corporation, the world’s largest arms dealer. She doesn’t want to be someone’s puppet in business matters, so she does what any smart business person would do in such a situation and flees to the no man’s land that is the Bronx. Continue reading

Psychomania (1973)

PsychomaniaPosterAs soon as you see a dude in his colors straddling his chrome horse and eating up blacktop while the pigs are sucking his fumes, you know you’re in for another biker gang movie full of drinking, brawling, and weird slang. You could take it or leave it, right? But what would you say if this was a biker gang who died and came back as zombies? And what if it starred Oscar winning film legend George Sanders? I know exactly what you’d say: looks we finally solved the mystery of why Oscar winning film legend George Sanders committed suicide right after making this movie! Continue reading

Rats: Night of Terror (1984)

RatsCoverThe year is 225 A.B. The A.B. stands for “after the bomb” and the world is a different place than the ones we’re used to in Italian gore movies. Gone are the cities infested by zombies, gone are the grottos infested by vampires, gone are the oceans infested by various Jaws rip offs. All that remains are buildings infested with rats!

But not just any rats mind you, but rats that look suspiciously like guinea pigs with a nice bronzer applied. It’s all because of the radiation and the accompanying mutation you understand. It makes you wonder what guinea pigs look like in this new world! Continue reading

2020 Texas Gladiators (1982)

2020 Texas Gladiators VHS CoverHow did I know the post-apocalypse portrayed in this movie was really, really post-apocalyptic? It wasn’t all the raping or the killing or even the leather-clad freaks on dirt bikes. That sort of stuff happens in every run-of-the-mill Mad Max rip-off scenario.

And all the ugly people fighting it out at cheap locations such as a refinery and rock quarries? That just means you woke up in either a Filipino or Italian-lensed no-budget trashageddon.

What really drove home the point that this was some serious apocalypse happening here? The characters’ names. Continue reading