Missing in Action should really be classified as a fantasy movie. Its central conceit is so unbelievable that even by the relatively lax standards of he-man action films, you can’t but help to wonder if star Chuck Norris will also be raiding the POW camp on a flying carpet while fighting a cyclops. Continue reading
What’s the perfect gift for a one man army? The One Man Army Gun of course! Sensibly code-named Omega (you’ll likely have already killed everyone with Omega before you can announce its official name during battle), it’s an automatic rifle, machine gun, grenade launcher, has a mini-missile and comes with built-in radio so that you can proudly broadcast all your carnage to your envious friends whose Omega hasn’t been delivered yet! Continue reading
Fast Gun is really a movie about trust. No, not whether we trust Sheriff Jack Steiger (Fast Gun himself) to put his haunted past behind him (he got his partner killed back in L.A.) so that when the chips are down, he’ll redeem himself and not get his trusty Deputy, Cowboy, killed. (Which is fortunate as Fast Gun does let Cowboy get killed.) No, the trust I am referring to is the trust we put in director Cirio H. Santiago to deliver on the complete lack of promise exhibited by the entirety of Fast Gun. Continue reading
The road from Karate Wuss to Karate Warrior is an arduous one, requiring the sort of sacrifice and commitment not found easily in these days of miracle pills, quick fixes, and grade inflation. Truth be told, it was a lot easier to find a person willing to forgo the trappings of his earlier life back in the late 1980s after the success of The Karate Kid. And since this is an Italian movie, the karate kid here is Anthony Scott, a 17 year-old American with a dubbed 30 year-old voice that sounds like it’s coming from an alien trying to translate from its native language in real time. Continue reading
What if you were a cop and your partner got killed? What if your wife was shot in the back? What if your little daughter was pumped full of lead as you watched and screamed? And it all happened at once!
How far you would go for vengeance? Would you tear apart the city until you brought those responsible to justice? Would you break both man and God’s laws to set things right? Or maybe you would crawl into a bottle of cheap hooch, become a dirty disgusting bum and never get revenge! Continue reading
A madman has seized control of Malaysia’s newest chemical plant! His team of terrorists control thousands of gallons of the deadliest nerve gas ever created! Their demands are simple – millions of dollars or a hostage will be killed once per hour, culminating in the execution of this big haired blonde congresswoman bimbo from Ohio they have kidnapped!
Who can break this stranglehold they have on our freedom and safety? A special forces team is being assembled, but they’re all the way over in freaking Thailand! If only there was someone on the scene with the weapons and tactics training! Someone with lethal kickboxing skills! Someone with a dinky little pony tail! Continue reading
For those of you who can’t get enough of those silly stories about mad scientists who somehow think that giving plastic surgery to large non-biped animals is going to turn those animals into people, we have this Filipino version of H.G. Wells’ story, The Island of Dr. Moreau. This version isn’t as flamboyant as the more popular Charles Laughton version (Island Of Lost Souls), chiefly because there is no one here poured into a white ice cream suit like the tubby Moreau was in that version. Continue reading
It’s a question that’s vexed cineastes for more than a generation, sparking heated debate and rending friendships asunder! Everyone has an opinion on it and most have come to realize that like politics, religion and soccer, it’s just not something to discuss in polite company! I am referring of course to the severed zombie head in the refrigerator scene in Zombi 3! Continue reading
It may take awhile, like almost the whole movie, but guess what happens once eagles finally strike? They leave a terrorist sized stain of freedom all over the Malaysian island where a U.S. Senator has been kidnapped and held hostage! And lots of huts blow up! When will those dudes in southeast Asia get the memo that building their huts with gasoline soaked reeds is just asking to have it blown sky high by pissed off American GIs looking for payback! Continue reading
Fernando Baldi, who spearheaded Italy’s efforts in the early 1980s revival of 3-D movies with Comin’ At Ya! and Treasure Of The Four Crowns, followed those films by taking up the flag for the “school bus goes to war” genre and he proves himself as more than capable of bringing out the drama that’s inherent in a tale of grizzled marines driving a bright yellow school bus through an enemy-infested Vietnam.
While inevitably inviting comparisons to other school bus war movies such as Pierluigi Ciriaci’s War Bus Commando, Warbus takes a more realistic approach to driving a school bus in the middle of a warzone and ratchets up the suspense by giving each character a tortured backstory. Continue reading