Once there was a movie called simply enough, Emmanuelle. Released in 1974, it starred Sylvia Kristel as a horny French gal living in Bangkok. Sporting such a powerful plot, the movie easily spawned about seven legitimate sequels. But this isn’t our Emmanuelle. You see our Emanuelle is known as the Black Emanuelle and if she had to sacrifice an “M” in her name to avoid being sued, she more than made up for it by ditching the French softcore style of the original for an even more trashy Italian style! Continue reading
Has there ever been a movie in the history of the world that was any good and had a “4” at the end of the title? Zombi 3, for those of us still in therapy and repressing most of it, is the movie that Lucio Fulci began, but quit and that Bruno Mattei finished up for him. But don’t rip your own intestines out yet! This isn’t really a sequel! Shot simply as After Death, the slapping of the zombie tag on the film was merely a marketing gimmick! No need to worry that the film won’t utterly fail because it’s trying to continue whatever was happening in the previous gooey mess. It will utterly fail on its own merits! Continue reading
It’s a question that’s vexed cineastes for more than a generation, sparking heated debate and rending friendships asunder! Everyone has an opinion on it and most have come to realize that like politics, religion and soccer, it’s just not something to discuss in polite company! I am referring of course to the severed zombie head in the refrigerator scene in Zombi 3! Continue reading
Have you ever sat through Predator and thought to yourself how much you’d like to see the same movie, but without the cool space monster, the big name actors, the special effects, and technical expertise of John McTiernan? Continue reading
Proving once again that old saw that anything Hollywood can do successfully, the Italians can do cheaper and with Antonio Margheriti, The Ark Of The Sun God starring David Warbeck is Rome’s low-budget rip of Raiders Of The Lost Ark. However, what The Ark Of The Sun God lacks in originality and funding, it makes up with in Trans-Am chases. Continue reading
The first time was for his country! And for his crew of blown up strike commandos! And for that little kid named Lao that he promised he would take to Disneyland where the popcorn grows on trees! This time though…it’s personal! Strike Commando returns with his most vengeance-filled mission ever as he beats the Philippine jungles (standing in for the Nam) looking for his mentor, the man who saved his life back when they were both fighting the Man’s dirty little war!
Major Vic Jenkins has been reported killed, but Strike Commando is told by an old buddy that Vic is really alive and that his death had been faked and he is being held prisoner by the CIA or the KGB or the PTA or someone. Both Strike Commando and my reactions were immediate! Strike Commando immediately went down to the local CIA office to bust some heads while I wondered just who the hell Major Vic Jenkins was. Continue reading
Venice before the year 2000 is a beautiful city of canals, museums and other neat stuff. I’m guessing the Venice after 2000 is pretty much the same since I haven’t heard anything in the news about it sinking or anything. But what about the Venice of tomorrow? That Venice is a post-apocalyptic nightmare!
Closed off from the world, that Venice is a dead city, the entrance guarded by three guys in gas masks standing in front of a “do not enter” sign! What could have happened to the Venice of tomorrow that it turned from the city of lovers (or whatever it was) into the city of hazmat suits? It was something about seaweed choking out all the oxygen. Pretty much the usual end of the world stuff from the Italians. I’m sure it made sense to them. Continue reading
We’ve all seen movies where the killer is someone close to the heroine that she never suspected. We’re also familiar with the red herrings thrown out to implicate the innocent. And the little kickers at the end of these horror movies that show the villain’s heinous activities aren’t over despite all evidence to the contrary? Well, we’d be shocked if there wasn’t a shock ending!
But Night Killer is going to use all these tired and horribly ineffective conventions as just the jumping off point! How do we know that? Because there is a moment in the movie where a woman says, “my grandma, what a big schlong you have!” Continue reading