Category Archives: Kids

The First Christmas: The Story of the First Christmas Snow (1975)

First Christmas DVD CoverIn ancient times it never paid to get down too much when misfortune hit you. Sure, it might seem like God is taking a divine dump on you if you’re an orphaned shepherd boy who gets hit by lightning and catches a case of the blindness. But if you were patient and didn’t rage too much at the unfairness of it all, usually God would show back up later with a curative dose of miracle, especially at Christmas, as if to say, “see how freaking awesome Christmas is!” Continue reading

Nestor, the Long-Eared Christmas Donkey (1977)

Nestor VHS CoverIf you wonder how a Christmas cartoon about a donkey giving the Virgin Mary a ride to Bethlehem could have ever been shown on network TV, you have to recall what the TV landscape was like in 1977.

Most people only the three networks and PBS, no cable TV and no home video. When a Christmas special came on (if you remember the spinning CBS Special logo and its music, you know what I’m talking about), you were damn glad to be finally getting a break from your parents’ idiotic programs like Carter Country or The Shields and Yarnell Show. Even if it was about some farm animal you never heard of saving a religious Christmas instead of the normal North Pole Christmas, you sat and watched in rapt attention despite having no idea what was up with all the talk about a savior and Roman soldiers! Continue reading

Raggedy Ann and Andy in The Great Santa Claus Caper (1978)

Raggedy Ann & Andy Santa Clause Caper VHS CoverWho knew Raggedy Ann was such a technophobe? Even before she can hear Alexander Graham Wolf explain what the purpose of his Gloopstik was, she was catching the vapors over the very notion that a large red machine simply existed! It sure made you wonder at Comet’s wisdom in selecting her to be part of the special ops team tasked with degrading and destroying Wolf’s command and control in the North Pole! Continue reading

Star Trek: The Animated Series (1973)

Star Trek Animated Series CoverSeason 1

Episode 1: Beyond the Farthest Star

It’s a Trektacular start for the crew of the animated Enterprise as they face off against every sci-fi cliché known to man, Romulan and Klingon! A dead sun with a monstrous secret! An ancient spacecraft with a deadly surprise! An alien lifeform with bad intentions! And it’s up to Captain James Tiberius Kirk to recklessly lead his people into all these dangers! Continue reading

Belles on Their Toes (1952)

Belles on Their Toes PosterThe Gilbreths, whose sole claim to fame is that they have never heard of birth control, stage an unwelcome return in this, the sequel to the insipid Cheaper By the Dozen and the results are more of the same: meandering stories that don’t hold your interest, moments designed to evoke laughs that succeed only in provoking yawns, and the complete downplaying of all but about two or three of the daughters. Continue reading

The Leprechauns’ Christmas Gold (1981)

Leprechauns Christmas Gold VHS CoverIs it really possible for a Christmas special not to be the dumbest in the world when everything happens because a sea captain forgets to pack the ship’s Christmas tree for the long holiday voyage? Or that the captain detours his ship to a small island because he saw a tree he liked and orders the obviously learning disabled cabin boy ashore to dig the thing up? Or that said cabin boy continues to dig up the tree even after he sees that the island is full of leprechauns! Continue reading

Mickey’s Magical Christmas: Snowed in at the House of Mouse (2001)

MickeysMagicalChristmasCoverThis DVD is a lot like that Tiny Tim sob story at the end of it – lame and propped up by only one good leg. It is ironic then that Tiny Tim’s segment in this, another gimpy attempt by Disney to trick you into making a holiday donation to their coffers, is the best part of this lump of video coal. Continue reading

Mickey’s Once Upon a Christmas (1999)

MickeysOnceUponAChristmasCoverThe idea of a Walt Disney Christmas movie seems to be a win-win proposition. The legions of Disney zombies out there would gladly eat up a cartoon that featured classic characters such as Donald Duck, Mickey Mouse, Chip and Dale, and Pluto in a Christmas setting. More importantly of course is that for the Walt Disney Company, it would surely be a gold mine for them, guaranteeing sales every Christmas for years to come. Mickey’s Once Upon A Christmas would be the ideal result of such a concept except that it sucks Nestor the Long-Eared Christmas Donkey‘s balls. Continue reading