How did I know that Steven Seagal‘s Jake Hopper is the most coolly professional of all ex-CIA kick fu bad asses infesting Thailand? Was it because when he was informed that his daughter was kidnapped that his trademark catatonic squint never even wavered or threatened to slip into an indifferent squint? Was it because when his old friend betrayed him and was about kill him, Seagal’s response was “you’re just a trailer park bitch.”
Or maybe it was that when he was arrested after killing half of Thailand at a shoot out in a train yard, he resisted arrest by beating up the entire police station. But it also certainly could have been when he killed his old buddy after debating whether to kill him with his partner and Seagal practically yawned saying “he sealed his own fate” and then used every ounce of energy in his mountainous torso to almost shrug. Continue reading
Deadly Bet merely confirms what I’ve long thought about addictions and the way the various experts preach to address them – that it’s all micromanaged bunk! The various fill-in-the-blank Anonymous cults over complicate things with all their “steps”, meetings, talking, sponsors, prayers and sign in sheets. Fudge, I need a drink and a tub of ice cream just to take the edge off the stress thinking about all those requirements! I had less trouble getting into law school than that!
Jeff Wincott‘s down on his luck martial arts expert Angelo though knows the real score on how to lick all those demons that have kept him in Las Vegas, cost him the love of his life, and put him into debt with a ruthless loan shark! Training montage! Continue reading
Fear not fans of Michael Dudikoff or Jeff Speakman! Just because this matrial arts mayhem epic stars Cynthia Rothrock does’t mean she spends her time picking out pretty window treatments for her dojo or battling an evil nail salon owner! Sure she does her hair from an unflattering black to eye-gouging hideous orange, but it’s not some fashion don’t, but an attempt to evade the shadowy government agents who are after her! Continue reading
Perhaps owing to the inexplicable popularity of Cynthia Rothrock, Martial Law II: Undercover is likely the most well known of Jeff Wincott‘s films. At least it’s the only one I ever remember seeing at the video store in the early 1990s. It’s a shame if this is the only exposure that civilians (i.e. people who are prone to watch normal movies starring people they’ve heard of) have to Jeff since it is neither his most serviceable (The Killing Machine, Martial Outlaw), most forgettable (Open Fire, Fatal Combat) or most insane featuring Brigitte Nielsen running for mayor (Mission of Justice).
Its utterly bland story (corrupt cops and martial arts thugs battling Jeff and Cynthia), parade of run-of-the-mill villains, and perfunctory script (the few character details only exist to explain plot developments later in the film) only serve to underscore how charisma-impaired our two martial arts heroes are. Continue reading
One of the great unsung movie genres is films where low budget kickboxing action heroes play lawyers. Don “The Dragon” Wilson did it in Out For Blood with hilarious results. Michael “The Dude” Dudikoff did it for In Her Defense. And now you can add Jeff “The Guy In a Bunch of Action Movies You’ve Never Heard Of” Wincott to that illustrious list with a grim, gritty and greasy haired effort that eschews the cartoonish antics of the Dragon’s effort, but also manages to make as little sense as Wincott’s lawyer character John Ryan financing his pro bono work for Native Americans by using a loan shark. Continue reading
Brigitte Nielsen is running for mayor! And on a platform of beating guys senseless, cutting throats of washed up boxing champs, killing cops and framing other cops, torturing her own employees and smothering grandmas!
But the biggest crime she commits in Mission of Justice is the succession of dressy outfits she accomplishes all of her bleached blonde beatdown buffoonery in! And with our country’s unerring instinct to elect and reelect even the most venal, incompetent, and criminal misanthropes, it won’t come as any surprise that the crime-ridden town of Eastgate elects her! Continue reading
Utterly anonymous martial arts movie star Jeff Wincott (Last Man Standing) finally meets his match in this, the darkest and grimmest of all the movies he made where his frequent karate chops effortlessly replace completely superfluous acting chops!
On the trail of a vicious Russian mob boss (he’s so mean he chops parts of his relatives’ fingers off just to make sure they stay loyal!), DEA agent Kevin White (Wincott) finds himself back in his old home town where his older brother, a cop named Jack, still lives and seethes with anger toward Kevin for going to college and getting out their crappy home town – some craphole named Los Angeles! Continue reading
This world can really make it tough on a tough guy who tries to maintain his non-violent stance. What with your pregnant old lady getting stabbed in the guts and your friend getting himself ass raped in the secret arctic fight-to-the-death club you’ve both been kidnapped to and forced to participate in, it is perhaps understandable that you’re eventually going to be beating the piss out of guys, throwing prison shanks into their backs and making sure it’s them who blow up and not you.
To his credit (and the audience’s consternation) Professor John Stoneman spends most of Fatal Combat (aka No Exit) trying to reason with all the killers and psychos he comes across, babbling unconvincingly that there can be a different path other than violence. (That Stoneman is played by karate expert Jeff Wincott who starred in such films as Open Fire and The Killing Machine serves to only make his scenes teaching a college class on how to avoid committing violence all the more delightfully ludicrous.) Continue reading
As the bandages were slowly unfurled from the face of the mystery man at the beginning of The Killing Machine (aka The Killing Man), I was at once fearful and transfixed. Fearful of what hideous burned up visage waited to be unveiled, yet transfixed because I just had to know what the Killing Machine looked like! Would his face look like shredded hamburger? Would his charred skull peek through chunks of sizzled flesh? Would he need a really bad toupee like Claude Raines in The Invisible Man? Continue reading
Elitist fancy pants action movie fans routinely dismiss Open Fire as merely “Die Hard in a chemical plant”. True scholars of the bargain bin late 1980s and 1990s direct to video action movie shelf fillers know that Open Fire is actually Deadly Outbreak but with a brown haired guy who kicks people in the face instead of a black haired guy doing it. Continue reading