Someone is stalking the distinctly inbred-looking ladies of Huntington, West Virginia leaving them laying in a heap, choked out with a stocking, and a big red “X” tattooed on their forehead with lipstick. What demented freak could possibly be behind this mildly interesting crime spree? Continue reading
Deputy Sheriff Dan Colter is in charge of making sure that the people who are driving on a remote stretch of mountain road at four in the morning are stopped at his little roadblock and protected from an atomic attack. Shockingly, this is the least idiotic part of the civil defense plan he implements! Continue reading
This is an on again, but mostly off again satire about how dumb war is. I assume it’s some type of satire for two reasons. One is that there are some scenes in this movie that look like they were intended to be silly as opposed to just being chalked up to the usual incompetence you see in cheap imports like this. The other reason is because the back of the DVD box tells me so. Continue reading
Terry has just moved with her two square folks from Manhattan to whatever scurve part of the east coast it is where guys in leather jackets carry switch blades, hang out in restaurants, and gossip endlessly about what group of goofs rumbled with what other group of goofs the Saturday night before.
Back in Manhattan, Terry was the deb of the leader of the Golden Falcons, but then her parents had to move so now she’s looking to join the Rebels. Just how cool are you if you to have switch gangs like changing schools every time your parents move? And why aren’t you living with the leader of the Golden Falcons anyway? You are his deb, aren’t you Terry? Continue reading
Fee, fi, fo, fum! I smell the stench of another shabby Barry Mahon kiddie picture! This is the other movie on the DVD from Something Weird that features The Wonderful Land Of Oz, a movie that looks positively big budget compared to this one.
At least Barry’s ill-advised trip to Oz actually had the actors in costume, In Jack And The Beanstalk, most of the folks who wander around the set are dressed up like they were extras on an episode of The Brady Bunch, resulting in some scary striped pants, fringed vests, and a haircut for Jack that Peter Brady would have appreciated. Continue reading
Barry Mahon was a prolific filmmaker, oddly vacillating his directing chores between cheap sex movies like Fanny Hill Meets The Red Baron and Run Swinger Run! and cheap kiddie flicks like Jack And The Beanstalk (also on this DVD from Something Weird), and Santa And The Ice Cream Bunny. This two pronged approach Barry took to his career puts us in the unfortunate position of not knowing exactly what his movie The Girl With The Magic Box is about. With The Wonderful Land of Oz though, Barry is clearly aiming at the cut-rate kiddie matinee market, but manages only to hit his poor son Channy Mahon. Continue reading
I realize that many of you are hoping against all hope that I’ll tell you that this is worth your time and money. You have fond memories of Starsky and Hutch, S.W.A.T., The Rookies and all those other old copper shows with big cars, kicking music and guys that spit Miranda Warnings out like they were hairballs and all you want is a sleazy take on that genre. Well, let me you leave without any doubt in one department – this one is plenty sleazy. For a softcore porn movie that is. Ugh. Continue reading
After watching this less than riveting tale of a go-go dancer who takes LSD and kills her lovers, the biggest question is whether you should categorize what you’ve just seen as a bad trip or merely a bummer. I would submit that while aggressively lengthy in its pointlessness, nothing beyond the expected community playhouse acting, wooden dialogue, and pasty-sized plot occurs that would induce flashbacks years later.
There is of course the memorably bad theme song Lila that our go go dancing heroine (also named Lila) insists on playing while grinding with her johns that she picks up and takes to her daddy’s abandoned warehouse, but soon enough you’ll be humming “Li-la” over and over as you shimmy about your living room suggestively. Continue reading