Captain Paul Stevens is living in the middle of turbulent times. He’s caught up in the evacuation of Dunkirk, discovers a bunch of his own men have been mysteriously killed and had their identity papers stolen, and perhaps most trying of all, is saddled with a hothead, borderline comic relief Sergeant named Mulligan. Continue reading “Eagles Over London (1969)”
The last of the four movies made by that trinity of trash consisting of Cannon Films, the Italians, and Lou Ferrigno, Sinbad of the Seven Seas allows Lou to flex his acting chops as well as his basketball-sized pecs since there’s a scene where he has to act like he’s seduced by an Amazon.
As he awkwardly lays on her in a clinch, you can almost believe that when Lou’s dubbed voice says “gosh, you’re beautiful” that Lou’s lips also were mouthing the same words! And for just a moment, I firmly believed that Sinbad, Manbeef of the Sassy Seas wasn’t completely repulsed by touching female flesh! Continue reading “Sinbad of the Seven Seas (1989)”
This time all our boys come home! No, really – this time we mean it! Four guys get the idea to head back to the Nam while sitting in a bar listening to a news report about a POW who escaped to freedom. Once the expected bar fight between one of our crazed Vietnam vets and the local loudmouths concludes, they hit the road in search of some information about the POWs who are still back in-country, but what they find is a variety of Italian cinema celebrities! Continue reading “Cobra Mission (1986)”
The Inglorious Bastards were just like the Dirty Dozen, only half as many and twice as ass kick! Once again, it’s left to the Italians to take all that’s awesome about a particular genre of American film (in this case, the “misfits on a mission” brand of war flick), and boil it all down to about 90 minutes of relentlessly violent action while amping up the vulgar touches that we come to crave from such fare. Continue reading “The Inglorious Bastards (1978)”
When we last left headband-clad biker tough Trash at the end of 1990: The Bronx Warriors, he was wandering the wreckage of his beloved Bronx after firing a grappling hook into Vic Morrow and briefly lamenting the death of the girl who had first caused him to rip off the plot of Escape From New York. Continue reading “Escape from the Bronx (1983)”
The year is 1990 and the Bronx has been declared a “No Man’s Land” where the only law is the law that the various gangs can enforce on their own. I wasn’t too sure why the people in charge just threw up their hands and said “we give up” on the Bronx, but I’m guessing that maybe if you lived there in 1982 when this movie was made, you would understand.
The action in this movie stems from the fact that Ann is about to turn of age and inherit her interest in the Manhattan Corporation, the world’s largest arms dealer. She doesn’t want to be someone’s puppet in business matters, so she does what any smart business person would do in such a situation and flees to the no man’s land that is the Bronx. Continue reading “1990: The Bronx Warriors (1982)”
You can tell by checking out the crotch of the guy running around shooting and/or stabbing people whether your world has slipped into barbarism or not. If he’s just got some jeans on, you’re okay. He’s probably just some disenfranchised loner who hates women or the federal government. But if he’s wearing leather pants or worse, spandex drawers, with a codpiece attached to the outside of them, then you’ve gone and slipped into a world gone mad where the most prized possession is a fertile woman and the only rule is survival! Continue reading “The New Barbarians (1983)”