Psycho Scarecrow (1996)

It’s true that after Floyd is inadvertently killed by one of his friends that he somehow returns dressed as a scarecrow and murders the lot of them with an axe, but it seems a bit harsh to label him as a “psycho” for doing what vengeance-seeking scarecrows have done in any number of other films.

Does anyone really think that he’s any more or less crazy than the resurrected preacher trying to mate with Jaimie Alexander in Hallowed Ground? Or the kid who murders Ken Shamrock after somehow being possessed by the spirit of a scarecrow he himself had earlier possessed in Scarecrow Gone Wild? When stacked up against those farm freak shows, a few axe murders seem relatively prosaic! Continue reading “Psycho Scarecrow (1996)”

Hallowed Ground (2007)

At first blush, following a prophecy seems like a pretty easy gig. The religious leader of your choice announces what’s going to happen and what you have to do to ensure it happens. Sure, it usually always ends up with you trying to score sexy virgins for your leader, bringing about the rapture by getting into a standoff with some obscure government agency or drinking weird tasting punch, but at least it’s all relatively straight forward.

In the small town of Hope though, the prophecy involves a preacher dead for 100 years coming back as a scarecrow and then being reborn in human form by forcing an outsider to have his not-so-immaculately conceived self somehow. It’s enough to give even the most brainwashed cult member pause. Continue reading “Hallowed Ground (2007)”

Panic (1982)

What happens when you team a pair of Italian trash cinema vets like David Warbeck (The Ark of the Sun God, Karate Rock) and Janet Agren (Hands of Steel, Karate Warrior) with director Tonino Ricci, a man with his own sterling Italian schlock resume of which Rush and A Man Called Rage are just a few of the highlights, and turn the whole lot of them loose with a camera crew in Britain? Panic! Pure monster prowling in the sewers panic! Why, after seeing this movie, I’ll never feel safe hanging around in my local sewers ever again! Continue reading “Panic (1982)”

The War of the Gargantuas (1966)

The War of the Gargantuas is really the story of unfulfilled potential, dreams dashed and a sinking back into slimy obscurity. While the film ostensibly focuses on the titular gargantuas (and rightfully so because who doesn’t love watching grown men in ratty-looking hairy ape suits push each other around), it is the sad tale of Giant Octopus that lingers long after the last model tank has been thrown and the last smug line has been spoken by a clearly unhappy Russ Tamblyn. Continue reading “The War of the Gargantuas (1966)”

Humanoids from the Deep (1996)

This remake of the original 1980 Humanoids from the Deep takes a big soggy saltwater dump all over the terrible reputation of the original, a wimpy clone completely worse in every way, its only good parts being footage lifted from its mean and nasty progenitor.

Roundly criticized for its grim and humorless attitude, violence and gore, barely explored Native American rights vs. modern industry story, and most especially its explicit rape scenes by people who apparently have no idea what an exploitation or grindhouse movie is, the 1980 version still stands tall as the uncompromising entertaining trash it was designed to be precisely because of all those things. The 1996 version? It’s mainly remembered for the people who were pissed when they bought it thinking it was the original instead. Continue reading “Humanoids from the Deep (1996)”