Grand Slam (1967)

This may come as something as a shock to many of you, but sometimes even the most minutely planned diamond heist can go horribly wrong. Grand Slam follows the formula to the letter right down to the doublecross at the end of things that you pretty much had to see coming, if only as a way to explain one character’s sudden change in behavior during the middle of the movie. The only way the movie could have turned out that would have genuinely surprised me was if the big steal was pulled off without a hitch and everyone got their fair share of the booty. Continue reading “Grand Slam (1967)”

Android (1982)

Android likely wants to be one of those “man’s hubris to create artificial life will only doom him” movies, full of moralizing and whining about how misguided it is play God and that we shouldn’t be surprised when our creation rebels as it desperately tries to experience what it is to be human.

But what Android really turns out to be is one of those “don’t create a horny robot and keep it cooped up on a deserted space station” disasters that could be avoided if the chief mad scientist would be smart enough to periodically book passage to the nearest pleasure planet for his randy robot. Continue reading “Android (1982)”

Creature (1985)

It’s been a while since I’ve been on any space missions and even longer since I did a hitch on one involving skulking around an ancient alien archeological site, busting open strange storage cases, putting the make on the ship’s sexy computer expert and arguing with the corporate douche aboard whose main mission seems to be to put everyone in as much danger as possible.

But even in my semi-retirement, I still know enough that after battling a space monster who ate almost everyone on your ship, you need to do more than poke him a couple of times after electrocuting his slimy butt before pronouncing him dead and leaving your old lady all by herself with it. Continue reading “Creature (1985)”