Thousands of years after Man solved the riddle of the Sphinx, one Sphinxy question still remained: what is the secret of the Sphinx? While the riddle turned out to be a rather gimmicky joke about a man aging throughout his life, it should be noted that that particular sphinx was one who lived in ancient Greece, so who really cares, right?
The secret we’re concerned with is the one held by the most famous of all the Sphinxes, the one who lives in Egypt with all those pyramids. Surely, a strange and wondrous creature like the Sphinx who stands guard over the ancient kings of Egypt would have the most awesomest secret ever hidden inside its sandy blowhole! Continue reading
Secret agents get a bad rap most of the time. The nature of their business requires them to engage in all manner of morally questionable conduct. From the good old fashioned lies they have to tell even their loved ones to the random women they have to bed to maintain their cover as an international playboy to the nonstop murders they must commit in order to bring down whatever colorful evil mastermind is threatening American hegemony that week, it’s easy to lump them in with other terrible people such as bankers, politicians and soccer fans.
So when one of them demonstrates the humanity of a Ghandi or Dali Lama we should salute them. So I tip my cap to you Agent 3S3 for confirming that the woman you were assigned to screw information out of was not underage! Continue reading
If you enjoyed the delightfully incompetent Superseven Calling Cairo and wondered where director Umberto Lenzi honed his talents in making uninspired James Bond knock offs that take place in Cairo, 008 Operation Exterminate provides the pleasingly appalling answer. Continue reading
One has to wonder after enduring two hours of this mess whether its audience of 1966 was in on the joke or whether it was only the movie that thought all its mod design, dreadfully long scenes that went nowhere and dialogue that rarely made any sense were the pinnacle of mid-sixties cool. Continue reading
In what has to go down as one of the great disappointments in the history of cinema, at no time during director Antonio Margheriti‘s Killers Are Challenged does star Richard Harrison (Giants of Rome, Messalina Against the Son of Hercules ) ever utter the phrase “the name is Fleming. Bob Fleming.”
Despite being deprived of what would have certainly provoked snickers among even the actors in the scene where that line might have been uttered, the film does not disappoint in any other area as it manages to ineptly attempt to cash in on the James Bond craze of the mid 1960s with all the success of its preternaturally dimwitted lead character. Continue reading
Even though I never deciphered what a Superargo was, I marvelled at both the genius of the idea as well as the flawless execution of it. What if you were to take a masked wrestler who was the very best at what he does (wrestle and stuff) and make him a secret agent?
And what if he had to foil a madman bent on world domination? And what if this wrestler had to take on an entire island lair of henchmen to save his girlfriend before the madman can blow the island up and escape in his rocket? And what if this wrestler was the heavyweight champion of the world?
And most importantly of all, would defeating this madman and causing his secret hideout to not only explode, but to sink straightaway into the sea count as one of his mandatory title defenses? Continue reading
Fifth films in movie series have a spotty track record. For every crappy movie like Star Trek V, there’s a movie like Hellraiser: Inferno that I can’t even remember if I’ve even seen it! Continue reading
Ahmed wears a carnation on his suit whenever he’s out and about trying to kill those who would defend and fight for freedom! He goes undercover with his sinister Chinese partner (Mei Lang) at a flower shop that magically transforms into an antiques store whenever the police come to investigate! Most diabolically of all though is that he even works on cross breeding different flowers all the while he’s got the good guys locked up in his secret lair, his hideous evil culminating when he announces the creation of a brand new flower that he calls…Oriental Sunset! Continue reading
Superseven is the guy who gets the assignments that James Bond would reject as not flashy enough. Thwarting supervillains bent on world domination and equipped with monstrous secret bases is one thing, but recovering the zoom lens from a primitive video camera is something best left to a junior varsity squadder like Superseven. Or the guys from the old TV show Riptide. Continue reading
The island paradise of San Felipe has undergone a revolution! The charismatic General Siqueiros has assumed control! Those assisting him though have an agenda far beyond a simple dictatorship of a inconsequential banana republic! They’re scheming to put the entire world at their mercy through the mad scientist Karlesten’s efforts to develop a deadly missile-carried gas! And only one man can stop him! Walter Ross, Agent 3S3! And he not only has a license to kill, but also a license to spank! Continue reading