Engineered to the be the perfect killing machine. Part man. Part robot. All ass kick! Cyber Warrior One will be the soldier of the future for the American military. Unaffected by extreme heat and cold, impervious to biological weapons and various and sundry toxins, and completely obedient in following all orders, no matter who wrong they may be, this ultimate force of devastation and freedom-spreading vengeance will continue to ensure our great country’s superiority for generations! Continue reading “Cy Warrior (1989)”
Category: 1980s
Women’s Prison Massacre (1983)
Shot right after Violence In A Women’s Prison with pretty much the same people behind and in front of the camera, Women’s Prison Massacre (known variously as Blade Violent, Emanuelle Escapes from Hell, and Emanuelle in Prison) proves that even when faced with making the same movie as he just finished making, director Bruno Mattei has the skills to make it even better than before! And he does it right from the beginning! Continue reading “Women’s Prison Massacre (1983)”
Braddock: Missing in Action III (1988)
Remember how in Missing in Action 2: The Beginning, Colonel James Braddock was captured in Vietnam and held as a POW until he made his daring (and quite explosive) escape? And how the dastardly camp director tortured Braddock with news that his wife back in the States had him declared legally dead and was going to marry someone else? He even nonsensically burned a letter she purportedly wrote to him while Braddock could only watch helplessly! How could you forget something so dramatic and heart-wrenching from Braddock’s secret origin movie? Continue reading “Braddock: Missing in Action III (1988)”
Missing in Action 2: The Beginning (1985)
When we last left Colonel James Braddock, he was shoving it up Vietnamese butt by barging into their press conference about how they didn’t have any POWs with a POW he just rescued. Truly a fairy tale ending, but what about the beginning of the fairy tale?
Isn’t the idea of Braddock’s secret origin even more tantalizing than his by-the-numbers “one man plus M. Emmett Walsh” war he waged against the Nam in the first movie? I know he had a freaking assault raft in Missing in Action, but Missing in Action 2: The Beginning is his most personal mission of all! Continue reading “Missing in Action 2: The Beginning (1985)”
Missing in Action (1984)
Missing in Action should really be classified as a fantasy movie. Its central conceit is so unbelievable that even by the relatively lax standards of he-man action films, you can’t but help to wonder if star Chuck Norris will also be raiding the POW camp on a flying carpet while fighting a cyclops. Continue reading “Missing in Action (1984)”
Adam and Eve (1983)
And on the sixth day, God created Trash! And it was good. Especially his hair! That’s right Trashers, Mark Gregory hits the big screen yet again, this time portraying the greatest role of all time, the very first man! Continue reading “Adam and Eve (1983)”
The Other Hell (1981)
I have to confess that the icky ecclesiastic epic The Other Hell surprised me. Not because it was well made. Because it wasn’t. Not because it featured an original story. Just your standard possessed by the Dark Lord tale here. And certainly not for its acting. Franca Stoppi from Beyond The Darkness and Carlo De Mejo from City Of The Living Dead? Wasn’t George Eastman or at least Bret Halsey available? No, what thoroughly caught me off guard was that in this entire convent of nuns there wasn’t a single lesbian! Continue reading “The Other Hell (1981)”