So much of the Vietnam POW experience is portrayed in a negative light. There’s the obscene physical abuse as well as the unrelenting mental torture. There’s the inhuman living conditions and the years away from loved ones. There’s the uncertainty of whether you are going to live through the next morning or whether you’re going to get another meal. Then, even if there is a rescue mission mounted by a one man killing machine named Rambo or Braddock, there’s the distinct possibility that you might be one of the anonymous grubby guys who dies in the escape attempt. Continue reading “Brothers in War (1989)”
Category: Action
The Sea Hawk (1940)
Apparently there’s a book called The Sea Hawk. This movie is based on that book and by that I mean that it’s based on that book’s title. The story in this Errol Flynn pirate vehicle is really based on Sir Francis Drake and his crazy adventures with the Sea Dogs. Clearly, a bunch of Sea Hawks is much more manly than the Sea Dogs, which sound more like a group of horny swimmers than charming rogues who delight in putting those Spaniards and their silly helmets in their place. Continue reading “The Sea Hawk (1940)”
Kick or Die (1987)
Women are being brutally attacked and raped on the campus of the local college, but now the community is standing together to take back the night! By having a meeting to decide what to do! And they decide what any sensible low budget action would – hire the legendary alumni martial artist to teach the co-ends self defense! And it only took two short raped-filled years to add it to the curriculum! Continue reading “Kick or Die (1987)”
Secret of the Sphinx (1964)
Thousands of years after Man solved the riddle of the Sphinx, one Sphinxy question still remained: what is the secret of the Sphinx? While the riddle turned out to be a rather gimmicky joke about a man aging throughout his life, it should be noted that that particular sphinx was one who lived in ancient Greece, so who really cares, right?
The secret we’re concerned with is the one held by the most famous of all the Sphinxes, the one who lives in Egypt with all those pyramids. Surely, a strange and wondrous creature like the Sphinx who stands guard over the ancient kings of Egypt would have the most awesomest secret ever hidden inside its sandy blowhole! Continue reading “Secret of the Sphinx (1964)”
Godzilla vs. Megaguirus (2000)
Godzilla‘s appearance in his twenty-fourth movie is distinguished chiefly by him pretty much standing around biting a big dragonfly.
Toho, having been at this for something like forty years, knows just how to stretch such an obviously lackluster premise into a movie that is well in excess of an hour and forty minutes. How do they do it? With the liberal use of what I call “Godzilla Helper.” Continue reading “Godzilla vs. Megaguirus (2000)”
American Commandos (1986)
American Commandos is the sort of film where the hero’s wife is introduced just long enough for him to tell her that he doesn’t know what he would do without her, thus tipping the audience off she’ll be dead within the next two scenes.
It’s also the kind of movie where the little orphan boy that the hero adopts in Vietnam in between fire fights is unironically named Charlie. And it’s the kind of movie where one of the guys he fought with in Nam became an Interpol agent who helps him battle the heroin trade in the Golden Triangle which just happens to be run by another guy he fought with.
And it is most definitely the kind of movie where the guys who fought together were known as the Rat Bastards.
In short, American Commandos is a classic. Continue reading “American Commandos (1986)”
Cruel Jaws (1995)
Has Bruno Mattei ever made a bad movie? Or at least a bad movie that I haven’t loved? The Auteur of Awful responsible for such varied success stories as Rats: Night of Terror (the best giant-rats-take-over-the-world movie ever!), Hell Of The Living Dead (crossdressers against zombies? That’s just common sense film making!), the literally excrement-filled Violence in a Women’s Prison, and the impenetrably fantastic mess that was aptly titled The Other Hell, checks in with his take on yet another junkfood genre – the killer shark movie! Continue reading “Cruel Jaws (1995)”