Internet-review-site-whipping-boy Albert Pyun (Cyborg, Captain America) embarked on his career as a film director whose lack of talent is only exceeded by his stunning ability to continue to find work with this movie. To paraphrase an old Chinese proverb, “the filmography of a thousand horrible films begins with but one starring the charisma-impaired Lee Horsley.” Continue reading “The Sword and the Sorcerer (1982)”
Category: Action
Omega Cop (1990)
If your mom has told once, she’s told you a thousand times: do not steal Omega Cop’s hat! A group of thugs learn that lesson the hard way during one of the seminal moments of this first Omega Cop adventure!
The world is being thrown into chaos by one of those Greenhouse Effect deals, causing water to be scarce and solar flares to be mega deadly! Even worse is that this has somehow caused gangs of slavers to be formed! And even worser yet, post-apocalyptic punks are out there stealing Omega Cop’s freaking hat! Continue reading “Omega Cop (1990)”
Battlefield Baseball (2003)
Easily much better than the previous “greatest movie about baseball in Japan,” 1992’s Mr. Baseball starring Tom Selleck, Battlefield Baseball succeeds because of the relative dearth of baseball-related antics (as well as the dearth of Tom Selleck) and instead uses the trappings of baseball merely as a way to get across its message that everyone wants to feel loved – even a high school baseball team of homicidal mutants. Continue reading “Battlefield Baseball (2003)”
Conqueror of Corinth (1961)
A welcome breath of not-so-fresh sweaty centurion air, Mario Costa’s Conqueror of Corinth is pure peplum propaganda intent for some reason on making modern audiences believe that when Rome went and obliterated the Greek city state of Corinth 2100 years ago, that the Romans were actually the good guys we should be rooting for! Continue reading “Conqueror of Corinth (1961)”
Stranglehold (1994)
A madman has seized control of Malaysia’s newest chemical plant! His team of terrorists control thousands of gallons of the deadliest nerve gas ever created! Their demands are simple – millions of dollars or a hostage will be killed once per hour, culminating in the execution of this big haired blonde congresswoman bimbo from Ohio they have kidnapped!
Who can break this stranglehold they have on our freedom and safety? A special forces team is being assembled, but they’re all the way over in freaking Thailand! If only there was someone on the scene with the weapons and tactics training! Someone with lethal kickboxing skills! Someone with a dinky little pony tail! Continue reading “Stranglehold (1994)”
Hercules Against the Sons of the Sun (1964)
I don’t know about you, but I like my Hercules to look really beefy and have a well-groomed beard. I’m not into a budget Hercules who is quite hairless, only has moderately sized pecs and gazes wistfully at llamas.
If you’re wondering how it is that Hercules is even on the same continent as a llama, you don’t know much about the ancient world. Hercules (Mark Forest) and his buddies angered the gods (probably Neptune according to Hercules) and of course had their asses shipwrecked in South America! Continue reading “Hercules Against the Sons of the Sun (1964)”
Comin’ at Ya! (1981)
Everything you read about Comin’ At Ya! indicates that this is the movie that jumpstarted the 3-D revival of the early 1980s. As I watched it unfold though, I couldn’t help but wonder if this movie was made by opponents of the 3-D movement to sabotage it! Continue reading “Comin’ at Ya! (1981)”