Category: American International Pictures

I Was a Teenage Werewolf (1957)

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I Was A Teenage Werewolf never explains why poor old Tony is dispatched with wimpy police issue bullets. And if you think that I just laid a real smelly dog turd of a spoiler on your front lawn there, try to remember that a teenage werewolf whose transformations are triggered by the school bell probably isn’t a prime candidate to reach old age, even in dog years! I mean that sucker is going to be growing fangs and eating teachers and students about what – 14 or 15 times a day? Someone is bound to eventually notice that!

Tony is just your average high school kid with an anger management problem. He’ll fight you just as soon as look at you and he doesn’t mind fighting dirty if that’s what the situation calls for! Whether this involves swinging a shovel at another guy during one of his after school fights or chucking dirt in his opponent’s eyes, one thing is for sure: Tony is in it to win it. To him, second place is the first loser. Continue reading “I Was a Teenage Werewolf (1957)” →

Terror from the Year 5000 (1958)

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Terror From the Year 5000 PosterWhen I first heard that there was a movie called Terror from the Year 5000, my mind went into hyperdrive at the possibilities!

What would this terror from three millennia in the future be like? Would it be some hideous monster bent on sucking our souls out through our nostrils in order to feed its black hole heart? Or maybe some type of overgrown insect cyborg unleashed by a secret cabal of scientists to cleanse the Earth after the Last Great War of 3255?

Heck, it might even be a human so advanced that he’s pure energy, whose only desire is to enslave us to do his dark bidding! In short, this Terror could have been anything and in any event was probably simply beyond my puny 21st century brain to comprehend! Continue reading “Terror from the Year 5000 (1958)” →

Mars Needs Women (1967)

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The details are almost too terrifying to report: a $25,000 budget, a two week shooting schedule, Tommy Kirk, and a TV movie. That in a nutshell is what we have with Mars Needs Women, a movie that can’t hide the low budget, low star power, and the low wattage script that it suffers from throughout.

This is another silly Martian invasion movie. You know how those Martians are. They’re always giving our planet the bugged-eyed once over because of its really sweet location in the universe.

In this case, the usual invasion plan has been modified a bit to try and trick teenyboppers into watching the movie. See, Mars has gone into some kind genetic free fall (probably because they kept sending their best and brightest to Earth in past invasion attempts) and the result is that for every 100 male Martians there is only one female Martian. I think you know what happens when you have a planet load of horny Martians: road trip to Earth! Continue reading “Mars Needs Women (1967)” →

Empire of the Ants (1977)

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Things begin ominously enough when the unseen narrator starts droning on about how cool ants are and how they can do all this great stuff like push aphids around and dig up dirt between the cracks of sidewalks. They also have this super sweet gimmick where they spray pheromones on people to make them do their bidding!

Sensing an opportunity to turn this dopey giant bug movie into a learning experience, I hit the world wide web to find out if pheromones could really cause giant ants to take over the world. Continue reading “Empire of the Ants (1977)” →

Earth vs. the Spider (1958)

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Heck, this spider wasn’t all that! It didn’t even take the entire Earth to fight it like the title promised! They should’ve called this one Egghead Professor & Redneck Sheriff vs. The Spider. Sure, it sounds like another hideous iteration of those Doll Man-Demonic Toys-Puppetmaster team ups, but director Bert I. Gordon (Attack Of The Puppet People, Empire Of The Ants) clearly knows how to make a movie where stuff isn’t the right size! Continue reading “Earth vs. the Spider (1958)” →

The Oblong Box (1969)

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In spite of the presence of both Vincent Price and Christopher Lee, this is an entirely forgettable entry in the cycle of American International Pictures Edgar Allan Poe films. While the earlier films were directed by Roger Corman, this time the directing chores fall to Gordon Hessler. His credits indicate that he must have been seen as the late sixties-early seventies Corman by AIP because he also helmed Scream And Scream Again, Murders In The Rue Morgue and Cry Of The Banshee for them in rapid succession. Continue reading “The Oblong Box (1969)” →

Scream and Scream Again (1970)

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Scream and Scream Again PosterFollowing the aimless The Oblong Box that almost teamed up Vincent Price and Christopher Lee, director Gordon Hessler was at it again later that same year when he signed up not only Price and Lee, but also Peter Cushing to appear together in this off-beat Cold War horror movie that’s more successful than The Oblong Box was in spite of (or perhaps because of!) it being more confusing.

You get the whole “bait and switch” feeling that you had with The Oblong Box, since once again Lee and Price only share one scene together and Cushing is only in the movie for five minutes and doesn’t get to appear with either one of the other two, but with car chases, amputations, a serial killer on the loose, and a plot to take over the world, it doesn’t leave as bad a taste in your mouth like it did with The Oblong Box. Continue reading “Scream and Scream Again (1970)” →