Category: Classic

Old Acquaintance (1943)

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There’s only one reason anyone would ever seek out this semi-obscure Bette Davis movie (one of only about 19 that she made during the 1940s alone!) and that can be summed up in one semi-questionable word: catfight! What began a few years before in The Old Maid comes to a throat-throttling head as Bette finally has it out with arch foe Miriam Hopkins.

And by the time Bette gets around to choking the life out of her late in the film, you’re inclined to think that she was peeved that Miriam’s hammy and clueless performance was ruining the movie.

Miriam’s inability to tone down her shrill antics isn’t the sole reason that you end up wishing that she and Bette had just set up a boxing ring on the set of The Old Maid and hashed it out over the lunch hour between set up shots four years before this mess, it’s just the most glaring. Continue reading “Old Acquaintance (1943)” →

Mysterious Island (1961)

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It was a simpler, more action packed time. A time when giant crabs walked the earth. And so did really big birds. And huge bees, pirates, the Civil War, Captain Nemo and even packs of wild goats!

It all begins on a dark and stormy night (This movie has everything!) when three Union POWs are planning their elaborate scheme to bust out of the joint. Captain Cyrus Harding, Herbert Brown, and Corporal Neb Nugent have tricked up the staircase that leads down to their cell and once the guards come down with a new prisoner they make a break for it.

Once free, they escape in a giant hot air balloon the Confederates were using to observe enemy troop movements. They also lift off with a rebel soldier who knows how to fly it. You can tell he’s from the South because he talks like he has much more than a pinch between his cheek and gum. Continue reading “Mysterious Island (1961)” →

The 7th Voyage of Sinbad (1958)

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Giant birds, crabby cyclops, dragons, skeleton warriors, and a snake woman? Just another day at the office for Sinbad the Sailor. Throw in an evil sorcerer, a mutinous crew, and having to not only rescue his fiancee, but also find some way to un-shrink her and you can understand why this particular Sinbad set about his seventh voyage with very little humor and cheer.

Director Nathan Juran knew that when people were going to a movie about Sinbad and his legendary seventh voyage that they were expecting plenty of scenes of guys chucking spears at stop motion clay figures of various mythological creatures. There was plenty of time for Sinbad to talk and philosophize about the meaning of what it is to be a carefree sailor on his previous six voyages. Actually, I think the movie really picked up at the end of his sixth voyage because we first meet Sinbad and crew while they’re floating around in some ocean or other in search of land. Continue reading “The 7th Voyage of Sinbad (1958)” →

Klute (1971)

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Jane Fonda won an Oscar for her work as the only-in-a-Hollywood-movie hooker who’s smart, good looking and deeply troubled by her lifestyle. This is a hooker that’s so Hollywood, she even visits a therapist on a regular basis!

Her name is Bree Daniels and lately she’s been getting strange phone calls. She also has the feeling that someone is watching her. I’m assuming that it isn’t so much that she’s pissed that someone is getting off messing around with her on the phone or that someone is peeping her, it’s that they’re doing all this without paying her for it!

While Bree is in New York City fuming over all the free samples she’s given away, we need to go to the heartland to meet the other half of our movie, Donald Sutherland. The place is Pennsylvania and Sutherland plays a small town cop named John Klute. He’s buddies with a guy named Tom Gruneman. Tom has gone and disappeared while on a trip to NYC and now his wife and Klute wonder why he hasn’t come back yet. Continue reading “Klute (1971)” →

Meet Me in St. Louis (1944)

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In this beloved musical effort set against the backdrop of the 1903 World’s Fair, Judy Garland sings her way through a world where the most pressing problem of the day is the fact that the boy-next-door’s tailor is closed meaning that he can’t get his tuxedo in time for the big graduation dance.

As is to be expected in this kind of film, the lovable grandfather comes through and lends his tuxedo to the young man. I’m not sure what it says about Judy’s date that he would have the same build as a seventy year old man, but this was back in olden times where chicks actually wore corsets instead of letting their beer bellies hang over the fraying elastic waistband of their stretch pants like so many of St. Louis’ women do today. Continue reading “Meet Me in St. Louis (1944)” →

Mr. Hobbs Takes a Vacation (1962)

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Jimmy Stewart stars as the befuddled old coot trying to cope with his crazy family for a month on the Pacific coast. This mostly unfunny comedy mines all the expected areas of the whole “can’t stand my family, but I love them anyway” school of film with results that are generally less than tepid. Jimmy’s character, Roger Hobbs, endures his children’s various problems while coping with the run down house they’re staying at, but manages to solve all their marital, employment, and self esteem issues with remarkable ease by the time he has to pack everyone back up to St. Louis.

Mrs. Hobbs has secured the use of a house out on the west coast and everyone is coming along whether they like it or not. The Hobbs family still has two ungrateful and moody brats living at home with them. There’s the girl who is very self-conscious of her new braces. We’ll call her Metal Mouth. Then there’s the boy who is addicted to TV. We’ll call him America’s Youth. Also joining them once they get out to the coast are two grown daughters and their families. Continue reading “Mr. Hobbs Takes a Vacation (1962)” →

The Old Maid (1939)

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Obviously, this movie might be classified as a chick flick since it deals with subject matter that only a woman could enjoy. At least a woman from 1885 that is. I frankly think that most modern women who see this Bette Davis flick would think she was a doormat for no good reason. The guys who see this movie are obviously just trying to suck up to their girlfriends or probably have no use for girlfriends.

This one came out in 1939 so I suppose it was possible that some unwed mother could have had to lie about her baby’s origins for her whole life just so that her baby could have the advantages of being a rich adopted kid instead of a poor bastard. But this movie piled on the drama beyond that and the result was that I never quite figured out the purpose for most of Bette Davis’ actions. Oh I understood it was because she loved her daughter very much and wanted only the best for her, I just never got why that required her to become a dried up, crabby old maid. Continue reading “The Old Maid (1939)” →