The Capitol Conspiracy (1999)

A psychically super-powered Don “The Dragon” Wilson uses all his clairvoyant abilities to erase my whole memory of this movie!

Seriously, I would be watching this movie, mentally noting all the great things that were happening when all of a sudden, BAM! I couldn’t remember them anymore! It was almost as if the awesome things that must have occurred in The Capitol Conspiracy (also known as The Prophet) never happened at all! Continue reading “The Capitol Conspiracy (1999)”

Future Kick (1991)

In the future, all our kicking will be done by cyborgs who wear large sunglasses! And in that very same terrifying future, only one cyborg will do his kicking for good! That’s almost by default though since we are repeatedly told that he is the last of his kind. Except for the evil cyborg played by Christopher Penn. At least I think Chris was playing an evil cyborg. Maybe he was just bleeding luminous green stuff because of his off-screen personal life.

Don “The Dragon” Wilson plays Future Kick, a cyborg who makes his living bringing in criminals for the reward money. Future Kick also was called Walker, but that was clearly his slave name. Plus, I rather doubt I would have ever bothered with the movie if it had been called Walker Kick. Don has all the credentials to convincingly play Future Kick since he’s the 88 time World Whup Ass Light Heavyweight Champion and is internationally recognized as the only man to make nearly as many Bloodfist movies. Continue reading “Future Kick (1991)”

Out for Blood (1992)

Don “The Dragon” Wilson, Esq. It’s the sort of phrase that conjures up a variety of dream-like images. There’s the one where Don The Dragon is doing research using Westlaw and gets so excited to find a case on point that he karate chops his secretary through the office water cooler. You could also be excused if you imagine The Dragon objecting to some bit of damning testimony so vociferously that he actually splits the counsel table in half while pounding on it for emphasis! And then there’s all those billable hours for “kicking the shit out of hostile witness” and “ex parte beat down of trial judge.”

Considering the positively abominably silly possibilities of forcing The Dragon to actually practice law in a movie, Out For Blood does a good job of not really letting his occupation as attorney have anything to do with the movie. The Dragon’s legal beagle stuff is confined to him wearing a shirt and tie and eyeglasses while sitting in his office once or twice and asking for a case file. He also beats up two thugs at a courthouse. Continue reading “Out for Blood (1992)”