Allegedly Barabbas was a thief and murderer, but I never saw him do more than get wasted, try to hump women and burn Rome down. I guess he did kill a few guys, but this was the ancient world and people would run into your spear all the time then. Continue reading “Barabbas (1961)”
Category: Drama
Written on the Wind (1956)
Finally, a movie that dramatizes the shame of being a rich alcoholic guy with a low sperm count! Continue reading “Written on the Wind (1956)”
Tomorrow Is Forever (1946)
Tomorrow Is Forever completely ignores any worries about coincidence piled atop happenstance heaped upon chance and hefts around its wildly unbelievable story with an Orson Welles-sized assurance only a classic old movie could have. Continue reading “Tomorrow Is Forever (1946)”
The Great Lie (1941)
The Great Lie recycles the same plot as an earlier Bette Davis movie, The Old Maid, only this time Davis is the one raising the kid that isn’t hers and lying to everyone about it. The Great Lie‘s great sin though isn’t reusing a story full of silly sacrifice and artificial drama, but that it is so damn gimpy in doing so! Continue reading “The Great Lie (1941)”
I Remember Mama (1948)
To: Kathryn Forbes
From: MonsterHunter Publishing
Re: Your Submission
We are in receipt of your stories about your mama that you’ve gone and turned into a movie. Since we aren’t in the practice of actually reading, we were forced to watch the movie version of your book, Mama’s Bank Account. Frankly, we are not convinced of the complete veracity of your tales. Is the audience really expected to believe that a simple woman from Norway could overcome such soul-shattering odds as a sick kitten or a child with an earache? We can only assume that you felt your mother’s war against indigestion and the time she had a bad haircut was simply too much for the audience to handle. Continue reading “I Remember Mama (1948)”
Ring of Steel (1994)
It’s a fencer’s worst nightmare come horribly true! Three time state champion Alex Freyer is battling for a potential national title as well as a spot on the next Olympic team! During his match after a bunch of thrusting, parrying, and whatever else passes for manly fighting action in a fencing contest, Alex sticks his opponent in the chest! And total disaster strikes! His sword breaks and goes right into the guy’s face! Continue reading “Ring of Steel (1994)”
Kidnapped (1960)
I had been hoping that Kidnapped was a movie along the lines of Treasure Island – you know something involving a guy with one leg and a murderous little kid who didn’t fret over stabbing some scurvy sea dog in the face when the chips were down.
What I got was Oscar-winner (not for this movie obviously) Peter Finch hamming it up as Alan Breck Stewart and Hawaii Five-0‘s James MacArthur as David acting all despondent after having to plug some scallywag while he and Stewart were trying to take over a ship. Continue reading “Kidnapped (1960)”