At long last it can be revealed! The startling secret of the Incas’ empire has been hidden from the eyes of the white man for a millennia! Now, thanks to the unceasing efforts of Professor Bradbury and his sidekick, Linda Logan, the entire world will know what has been concealed beneath the volcano deep in Incan country, wherever the hell that is! Continue reading “Secret of the Incas’ Empire (1987)”
Category: Filipino Cinema/Locations
American Commandos (1986)
American Commandos is the sort of film where the hero’s wife is introduced just long enough for him to tell her that he doesn’t know what he would do without her, thus tipping the audience off she’ll be dead within the next two scenes.
It’s also the kind of movie where the little orphan boy that the hero adopts in Vietnam in between fire fights is unironically named Charlie. And it’s the kind of movie where one of the guys he fought with in Nam became an Interpol agent who helps him battle the heroin trade in the Golden Triangle which just happens to be run by another guy he fought with.
And it is most definitely the kind of movie where the guys who fought together were known as the Rat Bastards.
In short, American Commandos is a classic. Continue reading “American Commandos (1986)”
Braddock: Missing in Action III (1988)
Remember how in Missing in Action 2: The Beginning, Colonel James Braddock was captured in Vietnam and held as a POW until he made his daring (and quite explosive) escape? And how the dastardly camp director tortured Braddock with news that his wife back in the States had him declared legally dead and was going to marry someone else? He even nonsensically burned a letter she purportedly wrote to him while Braddock could only watch helplessly! How could you forget something so dramatic and heart-wrenching from Braddock’s secret origin movie? Continue reading “Braddock: Missing in Action III (1988)”
Missing in Action (1984)
Missing in Action should really be classified as a fantasy movie. Its central conceit is so unbelievable that even by the relatively lax standards of he-man action films, you can’t but help to wonder if star Chuck Norris will also be raiding the POW camp on a flying carpet while fighting a cyclops. Continue reading “Missing in Action (1984)”
Fireback (1983)
What’s the perfect gift for a one man army? The One Man Army Gun of course! Sensibly code-named Omega (you’ll likely have already killed everyone with Omega before you can announce its official name during battle), it’s an automatic rifle, machine gun, grenade launcher, has a mini-missile and comes with built-in radio so that you can proudly broadcast all your carnage to your envious friends whose Omega hasn’t been delivered yet! Continue reading “Fireback (1983)”
Fast Gun (1988)
Fast Gun is really a movie about trust. No, not whether we trust Sheriff Jack Steiger (Fast Gun himself) to put his haunted past behind him (he got his partner killed back in L.A.) so that when the chips are down, he’ll redeem himself and not get his trusty Deputy, Cowboy, killed. (Which is fortunate as Fast Gun does let Cowboy get killed.) No, the trust I am referring to is the trust we put in director Cirio H. Santiago to deliver on the complete lack of promise exhibited by the entirety of Fast Gun. Continue reading “Fast Gun (1988)”
Karate Warrior (1987)
The road from Karate Wuss to Karate Warrior is an arduous one, requiring the sort of sacrifice and commitment not found easily in these days of miracle pills, quick fixes, and grade inflation. Truth be told, it was a lot easier to find a person willing to forgo the trappings of his earlier life back in the late 1980s after the success of The Karate Kid. And since this is an Italian movie, the karate kid here is Anthony Scott, a 17 year-old American with a dubbed 30 year-old voice that sounds like it’s coming from an alien trying to translate from its native language in real time. Continue reading “Karate Warrior (1987)”