Barry Mahon was a prolific filmmaker, oddly vacillating his directing chores between cheap sex movies like Fanny Hill Meets The Red Baron and Run Swinger Run! and cheap kiddie flicks like Jack And The Beanstalk (also on this DVD from Something Weird), and Santa And The Ice Cream Bunny. This two pronged approach Barry took to his career puts us in the unfortunate position of not knowing exactly what his movie The Girl With The Magic Box is about. With The Wonderful Land of Oz though, Barry is clearly aiming at the cut-rate kiddie matinee market, but manages only to hit his poor son Channy Mahon. Continue reading “The Wonderful Land of Oz (1969)”
Category: Kids
Superdad (1973)
I thought I was watching a douche commercial when this movie began. With its shot of two people on a beach and its cloying “These Are The Best Times” song playing in the background, I assumed that a regular dosing of Superdad was going to refresh my most secret of places. Sadly though, I was left with that not so fresh feeling and even more incredibly, by the time Superdad complains to his daughter at her wedding that he smells, I was wishing that this was a douche commercial! Continue reading “Superdad (1973)”
Mystery in Dracula’s Castle (1973)
There’s really no mystery here. There isn’t any castle. And while you do get two Draculas, one is an actor in a cheesy horror movie and one is little kid with fake teeth, cape, and dog sidekick named Watson. So why didn’t I care that nothing remotely promised by its sexy title was actually delivered?
What if I told you that instead of a mystery, we had a case of stolen jewels? And if I said that while we couldn’t rent Dracula’s castle for this movie, we got a lighthouse sitting atop a rocky cliff? Continue reading “Mystery in Dracula’s Castle (1973)”
Secrets of the Pirates’ Inn (1969)
A gang of kids helps a sea captain relative search for a pirate’s treasure that’s rumored to be hidden somewhere in the old dilapidated inn the sea captain just inherited from his dead brother. Along the way, they unravel a series of clues which lead to a variety of hidden passages and trap doors. But they are not alone in their quest for Jean Lafitte’s pirate goodies!
Someone is shadowing their every move, messing about in the basement, stealing clues, and leaving spooky footprints in the kitchen! Who can it be? The cantankerous caretaker, Vern Padgett, who doesn’t like kids or old sea captains? Or is it the nosy reporter, Carl Buchanan, in from Baton Rouge to dig up a story and just maybe a little treasure, too? Continue reading “Secrets of the Pirates’ Inn (1969)”
Sammy, the Way-Out Seal (1962)
For those of us that grew up with a pet seal, this movie is like a welcome trip down memory lane! All of us remember the cans of salmon pilfered from the pantry. Those nights long ago when we would hook up an impromptu shower in the tool shed for our slippery friend seem just like yesterday! And I still can’t play a game of checkers without thinking about how my pet seal would always know the best move to make! I guess all that fish really is great brain food! Continue reading “Sammy, the Way-Out Seal (1962)”
The 3 Worlds of Gulliver (1960)
Gulliver is a simple doctor who just wants to help people (and make a lot money, too!), but all his patients pay him in chickens and cabbages. Obviously, he wouldn’t be complaining so much if they were paying him in sexual favors or stock tips or something, but you know what cabbage does to the innards, so this isn’t exactly a job that is going to keep the missus happy.
In fact, his woman, Elizabeth, wants to buy a broken down cottage in the bad part of town, but once Gulliver is there, he manages to bust up the door and she falls down on her face. Gulliver determines that there is no way he’s going to have his old lady live in a rat trap like that, so he does what any self respecting male with a ball and chain would do in that situation. He signs up for a sea voyage of fun and frivolity to the East Indies! Continue reading “The 3 Worlds of Gulliver (1960)”
The Ghosts of Buxley Hall (1980)
Remember that movie called Taps? It starred Tom Cruise and Sean Penn and featured a bunch of fascist brats taking over their military school to protest its closure. Me neither. But if you did remember it, your reaction most likely would have been, “if they really wanted to do it right, they’d replace Timothy Hutton with a bunch of ghosts.”
Just think about it – ghosts haunting a military academy who use all their supernatural powers to thwart the evil forces trying to shut down America’s last bastion of freedom-loving, patriotic ass kickers in training. What could be a more noble calling for the spirits of fallen soldiers? Why, all those short haired, pants-wearing women teacher union types, who would inevitably oppose such an institution, wouldn’t stand a chance! Continue reading “The Ghosts of Buxley Hall (1980)”