This is pretty much like watching Corbin Bersen’s home movies. That would be really awesome if you were a member of Corbin’s family, but for those of us looking for a serious treatment of the whole “low budget movie where a luxury spaceship liner gets hijacked” idea, we’re kind of screwed. Continue reading “Spacejacked (1997)”
Category: Roger Corman/New Concorde Pictures
Sorority House Massacre (1986)
Borderline incompetent slasher movie that cribs so halfheartedly from Halloween that it can’t even muster a full hour and fifteen minutes of movie before finally giving up.
It’s reasonable to expect the worst when you’re dealing with one of these nondescript stalk and kill movies from late in the slice and dice cycle and Sorority House Massacre easily fails to exceed those expectations right from the get go.
When the lead character, with her short feathered black hair that makes her look even more butch than Courtney Cox in that Springsteen video, first appears and delivers her lines as if she were on some serious anti-psychotic drugs, you realize that while the movie’s hair stylist must have been the first victim, you’re hoping he or she won’t be the last. Continue reading “Sorority House Massacre (1986)”
Raiders of the Sun (1992)
After the end of the civilized world, the survivors must start a new way of life! A way of life that involves driving cars with spikes welded on them! A way of life that sees them dressed in black shoulder pads and football helmets! A way of life that forces them to conduct almost all their action inside an abandoned quarry! And most frightening of all, a way of life where the midget population positively explodes! Continue reading “Raiders of the Sun (1992)”
Attack of the Giant Leeches (1959)
You ever have one of those days where you wish you could go back to bed and start it all over again like Bill Murray in that irritating Groundhog Day movie? I’m pretty sure that’s how Dave Walker felt in this movie about guys in black tarps harassing backwoods types. Dave is the lard ass who runs the general store that serves the tri-swamp area with all its food, bait, and gossiping needs. Continue reading “Attack of the Giant Leeches (1959)”
Last Woman on Earth (1960)
It probably shouldn’t come as any surprise to us that the last woman on Earth turns out to be a two-timing hussy, but who could have predicted that the last two men on Earth would end up beating each other up with fish? Truly, this is a world gone mad. Continue reading “Last Woman on Earth (1960)”
The Capitol Conspiracy (1999)
A psychically super-powered Don “The Dragon” Wilson uses all his clairvoyant abilities to erase my whole memory of this movie!
Seriously, I would be watching this movie, mentally noting all the great things that were happening when all of a sudden, BAM! I couldn’t remember them anymore! It was almost as if the awesome things that must have occurred in The Capitol Conspiracy (also known as The Prophet) never happened at all! Continue reading “The Capitol Conspiracy (1999)”
Dead Space (1991)
What sort of movie is only 72 minutes long, but still has time for a slow motion love scene dream sequence? The sort of movie where the slow motion love scene dream sequence features the Beastmaster!
When you’ve got the Beastmaster prowling around a deep space research station, you can bet one of two things is going on: either he’s on the hunt for the most deadliest alien in the universe ever accidentally created by a couple of guys with an incubator or he’s on the make!
Thankfully for us fans of scenes of people running through hallways, anxiously watching computer monitors, and trying to avoid clunky moving space monsters, the sexy stuff is strictly the stuff of dreams in this one! Continue reading “Dead Space (1991)”