Beyond Forgiveness (1995)

Combining the worst of a Thomas Ian Griffith movie (the presence of Thomas Ian Griffith) with the best of a really bad Steven Seagal movie (free trip to Poland), Beyond Forgiveness (or the equally generic Blood Of The Innocent title it is also known by) manages to hit some of the elements of lamer action films (the illegal harvesting of human organs storyline), but also gives you a dose of the helicopter-oriented stunts that immediately save any film from its status as “just another annoying Thomas Ian Griffith movie starring the annoying Thomas Ian Griffith.”

Like another crappy Thomas Ian Griffith (TIG) movie (Excessive Force), Beyond Forgiveness has TIG playing a Chicago cop. But with one important difference. In Excessive Force, he was a bad boy cop who had a really bad girl mane of hair. Beyond Forgiveness though shows that he is maturing as an actor since his hair is really short and going grey! Continue reading “Beyond Forgiveness (1995)”

Ninja (2009)

As soon as I saw there was an orphaned white ninja and a surly Japanese ninja lusting after the same ninja broad, I knew everyone else in the dojo would get sliced into tater tots!

And as soon as I heard that a super duper ninja sword had the power to not only kill your ass dead, but also to revive your dead ass, I was confident that White Ninja’s lady would surely get killed in the end only to be miraculously resurrected by MegaBlade in the waning moments of the film! Continue reading “Ninja (2009)”

Operation Delta Force (1997)

I’m not really going to blame the Delta Force boys for the shoulder-shrugging inducing mission that kicks off the Operation Delta Force pentology. After all, they gave it their all, whether it was blowing up a village while cruising through it in their rocking dune buggies, dropping off a big ass bridge to ambush some boats, or even battling through a mild case of extremely virulent Ebola to retrieve some serum to stop all the flop sweat and bleeding orifices. That it was all in the service of battling against some uninspired South African separatists though was simply a function of them being in the area on training mission. Continue reading “Operation Delta Force (1997)”

Operation Delta Force 2: Mayday (1997)

When the normally taciturn and perpetually granite-faced Captain Skip Lang of Delta Force addressed his team about their concerns for him leading a rescue mission where his father was being held hostage on a Russian submarine and told them simply, “it’s a long story guys, basically me and my father, we don’t talk” on the one hand I was loving it! Is there anything more special forces than brushing off all sorts of emotions about your broken relationship with your dad with really abbreviated tough guy talk?

But on the other hand, I was on the edge of my seat praying to the low budget special forces movie gods that Captain Skip would flesh out his long story about why he and his father just can’t admit that they care and respect each other’s choices in life. Continue reading “Operation Delta Force 2: Mayday (1997)”

Operation Delta Force 3: Clear Target (1998)

It finally gets personal for Operation Delta Force! While their first mission was a yawner against South Africans stealing UN viruses, their second had all the makings of it being the most personal mission of all! What with Captain Skip Lang’s dad being held hostage on a nuclear sub and all! But Skip himself stated explicitly that it wasn’t personal! He wasn’t concerned with his father’s safety and his father wouldn’t be concerned with his! It was the greatest un-personal mission of all! But with Operation Delta Force 3: Clear Target, that all changes – for the better of course! Continue reading “Operation Delta Force 3: Clear Target (1998)”

Operation Delta Force 4: Deep Fault (1999)

The fourth and most tragic mission for Operation Delta Force really only comes alive during the final 20 minutes or so when Delta is facing overwhelming odds in averting a devastating man-made earthquake and the Operation Delta Force theme music begins to play! Just as quickly though the movie peters out into a series of scenes of guys taking forever to die, taking forever to cut the wire on a nuclear warhead, and taking forever to fire their last bullet at the bad guy. Still, I have always loved that theme (at least since I realized there even was an Operation Delta Force theme at the end of Operation Delta Force 3: Clear Target) and was hoping something other than the dull mess that made up almost of Deep Fault would happen as the mission drew to its monumentally costly close. Continue reading “Operation Delta Force 4: Deep Fault (1999)”

Operation Delta Force 5: Random Fire (2000)

At the culmination of the mind-control scheme perpetrated by terrorist Jaffar Bin Asim and his Russian psychiatrist buddy, Captain Kennedy brings Sgt. Johnson back from the brink of being turned into a suicide bomber by countering his mental conditioning by reminding Johnson of that time they were in a dicey situation and he saved one bullet for himself.

“The last bullet’s for me,” they intone again and again, a mantra of ultra bad ass-ism so potent it shatters the evil Russian’s mind melding! It was also a testament to this, the final Operation Delta Force movie, that I too began chanting it and searched in vain for that last bullet that surely must have been lost somewhere in my couch cushions! Continue reading “Operation Delta Force 5: Random Fire (2000)”