King Kong was pretty bad ass as far as monsters go. Worshipped as a god on his awesome island home, he fought an all-star cast of dinosaurs. Later, he stole a beautiful woman and bragged about it by climbing the biggest building in the greatest city on Earth. Then he took on the air power of the United States. Even his death was epic, crashing in a big smelly heap all those stories to the ground while folks waxed poetic about beauty killing the beast. In 20 Million Miles to Earth, the Ymir fought a dog. And got stabbed in the back with a pitchfork. Continue reading “20 Million Miles to Earth (1957)”
Category: Science Fiction
Forbidden World (1982)
Cancer gets a pretty bad rap what with it killing millions of people yearly and not having any cure for it and all. It even gets blamed for making something cool like smoking really, really uncool.
It’s nice then to see in that in far flung future of Forbidden World, cancer is on the side of the angels, aiding haggard-looking space hero Mike Colby in defeating an apparently rampaging (you don’t really see it move much – it just sort of shows up in places opening and closing its toothy mouth) alien eating the dullards inhabiting a research lab on the planet Xarbia. Continue reading “Forbidden World (1982)”
Galaxy of Terror (1981)
Were you put off by all the high-brow stuff Alien forced you to endure such as deliberating building up suspense and rationing out the monster attacks? Did it annoy you that the story was pretty simple to follow? And were you disgusted by how a strong woman was featured when all you were wanting was to see women killed and violated in a parade of sleazy misogynistic scenes? Don’t sweat it, dude, because producer Roger Corman has got you covered with a Man’s edition of Alien, the superbly scummy and undeservedly entertaining Galaxy of Terror! Continue reading “Galaxy of Terror (1981)”
Nemesis 4: Death Angel (1996)
A war between man and machine that has raged for more than a century! A war that’s been fought all over the world from the jungles of Java to the wastelands of East Africa! A war that has seen the very fabric of time torn in freaking half like some sort of hapless phonebook owned by gargantuanly muscled she-freak star Sue Price!
Finally, in this fourth and concluding chapter, this war comes to an annihilating conclusion that will answer all your questions, satisfy all your desires, give closure to that eternal conflict between technology and its creators, and generally totally atomize your unworthy ass with its 70 minutes of nonstop talking, standing around, and bodybuilder boobs!
Nemesis 3: Time Lapse (1996)
Most film directors usually feel compelled to adhere to a strictly “beginning, middle, and end” format to their movies even though we all know real life is just a bunch of rehashed flashbacks! Director Albert Pyun recognizes this and ingeniously combines his greatest works into one audaciously substandard mangled up cyborg of a movie with Nemesis 3: Time Lapse!
Nemesis 2: Nebula (1995)
Nemesis 2: Nebula is twice as Nemesiser as Nemesis, taking everything that was awesome about the first movie (nothing) and just jacking it up with upgrades that could only come from director/writer Albert Pyun!
Gone are the chase scenes through the steaming jungles of Java! Now, all your chasing will happen in the much more Spartan east African desert! Well, it’s really the Spartan Arizona desert, but both of them start with the letter “A” so it’s all pretty much the same, right? Continue reading “Nemesis 2: Nebula (1995)”
Nemesis (1992)
Throughout our world’s future history, cyborgs have tried again and again to rise up against their fleshy masters and take control of our planet! They’ve repeatedly hatched all manner of schemes in an attempt to replace us for no real reason other than because they are pure mechanical evil!
Inevitably though, their plans always seem to break down into a mess of exposed wires, fluid, and ripped off arms. In fact, they never seem to take over much of anything except the market on leather pants and sunglasses. But now, Nemesis has arrived! Continue reading “Nemesis (1992)”