At the Earth’s Core (1976)

This big screen adaptation of some Edgar Rice Burroughs work that I’ve never bothered to read comes off like a really long live-action Saturday morning television show, probably something akin to Land Of The Lost.

Cheap sets (couldn’t they at least thought about going outside and finding real caves?), clunky monsters flying around on fishing line (don’t even bother trying to hide the fact that these things are just being pushed around by off-screen stage hands), and lame pig-faced people that were obviously ripped off of that one episode of The Twilight Zone are the order of the day! Continue reading “At the Earth’s Core (1976)”

Yor, the Hunter from the Future (1983)

From the opening strains of Yor’s insanely memorable and equally insanely indecipherable theme song where Yor is prancing around various penis-shaped rocks to the very end when he’s flying off into the sunset in a spaceship while a narrator informs us that Yor is going to try to help his people prevent the mistakes of the past, but isn’t sure whether he will be successful, you are in for the absolutely greatest movie of all time that cross-pollinates the cheesy Italian barbarian movie with the cheesy Italian sci-fi movie! Continue reading “Yor, the Hunter from the Future (1983)”

Roller Blade (1986)

RollerBladeCoverSurprisingly, Roller Blade is not the first post-apocalyptic roller skating movie. Skatetown, U.S.A. and Roller Boogie both preceded it by a decade. And if you don’t think either of those films qualifies as post-apocalyptic, I don’t know what else you’d call one movie starring Linda Blair from the director of Truck Stop Women and another featuring (deep breath!) Patrick Swayze, Flip Wilson, Ruth Buzzi, Horshack, Marcia Brady, Scott Baio, and some chick from Little House On The Prairie! Continue reading “Roller Blade (1986)”

The Alligator People (1959)

Swamp gas about a new bride trying to find out why her husband suddenly bugged out on her after receiving a mysterious telegram while aboard a train.

Though it’s clear to you and I as soon he reads the telegram and that “holy crap, my doctor says that experimental treatment he gave me to help me recover from that horrific plane crash is going to slowly turn me into a human alligator” look comes over his face as to why he has to leave, for some reason Joyce Webster can’t puzzle any of it out. Continue reading “The Alligator People (1959)”