Category: War

Missing in Action 2: The Beginning (1985)

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When we last left Colonel James Braddock, he was shoving it up Vietnamese butt by barging into their press conference about how they didn’t have any POWs with a POW he just rescued. Truly a fairy tale ending, but what about the beginning of the fairy tale?

Isn’t the idea of Braddock’s secret origin even more tantalizing than his by-the-numbers “one man plus M. Emmett Walsh” war he waged against the Nam in the first movie? I know he had a freaking assault raft in Missing in Action, but Missing in Action 2: The Beginning is his most personal mission of all! Continue reading “Missing in Action 2: The Beginning (1985)” →

Halls of Montezuma (1950)

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Their names roll off my tongue far easier than they ever had a right to: Tobruk, Corregidor, Guadalcanal. And even now after all these years, sometimes late at night when the house is at its quietest and I close my eyes, all I can see are the flares lighting up the night, illuminating the hellish place (probably a studio backlot) of dirt and rock and blood where I watched a bunch of actors dig in, praying that some Axis pillbox didn’t hit the jackpot, sending a telegram to our moms and dads that began “we regret to inform you.” Continue reading “Halls of Montezuma (1950)” →

Mrs. Miniver (1942)

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To hear my grandpa talk about it, World War II was a time fraught with danger and drama and filled with sacrifice. It was all about men, some only boys, going toe to toe with the Axis war machine and giving them a receipt for Pearl Harbor.

To hear Mrs. Miniver talk about it, World War II was all about how the stupid Germans interrupted the local flower show just as a big upset occurred when the flower raised by the stationmaster beat ten time winner Lady Beldon. What should have been a time of heady celebration and rioting instead turned into a mass panic as Nazi bombs began to rain down on the proceedings. Continue reading “Mrs. Miniver (1942)” →

The Desert Rats (1953)

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Richard Burton plays a Scottish officer named MacRoberts who somehow gets put in charge of a group of Australian soldiers at Tobruk during World War II. The Aussies are a rowdy bunch and one guy was already wasted (on Fosters no doubt) and in no condition to do anything except drop his booze on the ground! We’re busting our humps in the Pacific and everywhere else and these dolts are acting like the Libyan desert is South Padre island! Continue reading “The Desert Rats (1953)” →

Fireback (1983)

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What’s the perfect gift for a one man army? The One Man Army Gun of course! Sensibly code-named Omega (you’ll likely have already killed everyone with Omega before you can announce its official name during battle), it’s an automatic rifle, machine gun, grenade launcher, has a mini-missile and comes with built-in radio so that you can proudly broadcast all your carnage to your envious friends whose Omega hasn’t been delivered yet! Continue reading “Fireback (1983)” →

Bye Bye Vietnam (1988)

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You probably shouldn’t come out of a movie about Vietnam thinking that you would have rather really been in Vietnam than watched the movie. That just doesn’t seem right.

Then again, you shouldn’t come out of a Camillo Teti movie thinking that you would have rather really been watching his Cobra Mission 2. That’s just plain crazy talk. In fact Bye Bye Vietnam is probably the first Nam movie that will trigger post traumatic stress disorder in people who never fought there. Continue reading “Bye Bye Vietnam (1988)” →