When civilization has been destroyed! When the world has been reduced to a low budget friendly desert! When only a handful of people survive! When the rule of law is replaced by the savage rule of the wasteland! One man will stand above all others and command them with his bizarre vision of a new society where he screws all the fertile women and forced suicides are the order of the day to maintain a sustainable population! Such a tyrant can only be called…Kragg! And he could only be played by…Bull…from Night Court! Continue reading “Survivor (1987)”
The Shape of Things to Come (1979)
I think that space stud Jason Caball summed it up best when he gasped, “what the hell just happened!” during this film which was distinctly un-inspired by anything H.G. Wells ever penned. While Jason was technically referring to the mysterious magnetic storm that his star ship (the prissily-named Star Streak) had just endured, he could have simply been referring to everything else that happened in this late seventies spasm of deep space spunk that made you wonder whether Jack Palance’s character was wearing an evil sneer or simply a barely suppressed grin. Continue reading “The Shape of Things to Come (1979)”
Forbidden Planet (1956)
Leslie Nielsen is Commander Adams, the skipper of a starship headed to the distant planet Altair-IV. The mission is to investigate what happened to a spaceship full of busy bodies that disappeared there about 20 years ago.
Once near the planet, Adams and his crew pick up a transmission from a man identifying himself as Dr. Morbius. Morbius radios that everything is A.O.K., everybody else is dead, and there’s really no reason why Adams and his crew should land and investigate everyone’s mysterious disappearance. Commander Adams though is well chosen for his job because he smells something fishy and it isn’t Cookie’s space tuna surprise! Continue reading “Forbidden Planet (1956)”
The Story of Robin Hood and His Merrie Men (1952)
This particular version of the Robin Hood story is a rather lacking one. I’m not one to go around blaming one particular person when it involves such a collaborative craft as filmmaking, but it’s clear that this is all star Richard Todd’s fault. Todd’s problem as Robin Hood is mainly that he doesn’t look or act like a convincing rogue, but like a guy playing dress up in the school play. Continue reading “The Story of Robin Hood and His Merrie Men (1952)”
The Witch’s Curse (1962)
If you were impressed by Hercules’ travel agent in Hercules Vs. The Sons Of The Sun where we saw the gargantuan galoot hit the shores of South America in search of a healthy workout, The Witch’s Curse may be another vacation you wouldn’t mind taking. This time it’s fellow strongman Maciste and he’s put through his paces as he travels into hell to foil a curse put upon a town by a witch. A town in Scotland. Continue reading “The Witch’s Curse (1962)”
I Vampiri (1957)
Riccardo Freda was the director who started I vampiri, but it was cameraman and future legendary director Mario Bava who finished it after Freda got huffy and quit the movie after filming for ten days.
That might not seem like such a big deal, but Freda had made a bet with the money men behind the movie that he could shoot it in ten days! Mario swooped in and finished everything up in 48 hours, apparently “padding” the film to its anemic 78 minute running time by using stock footage and those swirling newspaper headline scenes that are mandatory in movies about a crazed killer stalking a city. Continue reading “I Vampiri (1957)”
Tentacles (1977)
So horrible on every level, it’s the sort of movie that leaves you sputtering in a laughable attempt to describe precisely what was so awful about it all.
Like the debris from the boats that the killer octopus leaves scattered here and there between bouts of eating children, the hideous aspects of this film featuring Henry Fonda (apparently warming up for The Swarm) are strewn helter skelter throughout every facet of it. Continue reading “Tentacles (1977)”