Other than Long John Silver, Johnny Depp, and Willie Stargell, Robert Surcouf is one of our greatest and favorite pirates who ever sailed the seven seas or played left field. As befitting a man of such stature that I hadn’t heard of him until this movie, The Sea Pirate is not exactly the high profile vehicle these other pirates enjoyed (Treasure Island, Pirates of the Caribbean, the 1979 World Series), but that doesn’t mean his story isn’t worthy of an obscure mid 1960s Italian swashbuckler! It means that he’s deserving of two such films! But it also means that the second film, Il grande colpo di Surcouf has no known English release. Continue reading “The Sea Pirate (1966)”
Author: monsterhunter
So Dear to My Heart (1948)
So Dear to My Heart is a combination of live action and animation that Disney released after their first such effort, Song Of The South. While that film was ingratiating chiefly due to the entertaining stories Uncle Remus tells, both the live action and the sparse animated sequences in this one fall flat. The live action stuff just isn’t terribly interesting (What? Danny the black sheep ran away again? Yawn. I’ll go right out and look for him in the swamp. Again.) and the animated stuff is forgettable pap that doesn’t satisfactorily advance the farm boy/sheep love story we are all here to see. Continue reading “So Dear to My Heart (1948)”
Massacre (1989)
Director Andrea Bianchi’s Massacre revolves around a bunch of murders happening during the shooting of a horror film called Dirty Blood. Dirty Blood looks like your typical Bianchi film, what with its murky visuals and murkier story line, but the bits and pieces of it we get to see being filmed make it apparent that it would probably be more entertaining than the real Bianchi movie we are actually sitting through! Continue reading “Massacre (1989)”
Strip Nude for Your Killer (1975)
A singularly scuzzy experience, Strip Nude For Your Killer contains many a moment that will leave the viewer feeling in need of a thorough post-movie scrubbing. There’s the ample shots of flabby Italian chicks in various states of undress, their skinny boyfriend Carlo who is likewise occasionally clothing-challenged, the department store music that calls to mind The Newlywed Game by way of a porno, and of course the opening scene of a woman in stirrups. I don’t know about you, but I’ve yet to see a good movie that began with a scene at the OB/GYN. Continue reading “Strip Nude for Your Killer (1975)”
Kill, Panther Kill! (1968)
Fifth films in movie series have a spotty track record. For every crappy movie like Star Trek V, there’s a movie like Hellraiser: Inferno that I can’t even remember if I’ve even seen it! Continue reading “Kill, Panther Kill! (1968)”
28 Days Later… (2002)
I’ll confess to being a bit skeptical about a zombie movie taking place in England, my main concern being that I was going to have a difficult time sorting out the humans with bad teeth from the zombies with bad teeth. How would they even tell themselves apart? Continue reading “28 Days Later… (2002)”
Hawk’s Vengeance (1996)
The local crime boss is using a skinhead gang to capture members of a Chinese gang so that their organs can be harvested. A local cop gets a little too nosy and is snuffed out by a pair of hitmen employed by the crime boss. His step brother, Hawk, travels back to the United States from his native England to attend the funeral and decides to dig a little deeper into his step brother’s death.
Hawk has some help from a Chinese buddy who knew his brother as well as his brother’s former partner, a blonde chick prone to lecturing Hawk on staying out of her investigation while standing around in a bra and leather skirt. Most of Hawk’s help though comes from the fact that he’s the very best British Special Forces marine ever! In short, this is your typical Gary Daniels movie. Thank God! Continue reading “Hawk’s Vengeance (1996)”