Fun with Dick and Jane (1977)

June 27, 2014March 9, 2019 ~ monsterhunter ~ Leave a comment

A lazy way to start this review would be to ape the writing of the children’s book series that this movie takes its title from. You know what I’m talking about. See Dick run. See Jane do whatever it is she did. See Spot take a dump on the carpet because he’s too dumb to know any different. That sort of thing.

I could tell you in that fashion that this movie isn’t very funny and personifies the word “slight” in describing the impression it will leave on you when you’ve finished it. I thought about being that lazy, but then I decided to take the even lazier route and do that at the end of this review. Continue reading “Fun with Dick and Jane (1977)” →

Treasure Island (1950)

June 25, 2014October 26, 2019 ~ monsterhunter ~ Leave a comment

This being a Walt Disney movie, I was let down a tad by this one. I mean, there wasn’t an asinine song and dance number to be had, not one crappy comic relief sidekick, and no bloodless, goofy violence to give the kids in the crowd the idea that pirates were lovable scamps who talked funny and needed a bath. That’s not to say that Long John Silver wasn’t someone to be admired for the way he played both ends against the middle and eventually won the respect of the kid whose throat he periodically threatened to slit. Continue reading “Treasure Island (1950)” →

A Blade in the Dark (1983)

June 23, 2014February 5, 2019 ~ monsterhunter ~ Leave a comment

Director Lamberto Bava (Demons) supposedly emulates some of father Mario Bava‘s most famous films and tries to incorporate some of their themes into this movie. I know this because I read the liner notes by Tim Lucas, not because I was able to discern any of that from the film itself. The best thing in this movie though turns out not to be something he cribbed from his daddy, but from Lucio Fulci! Continue reading “A Blade in the Dark (1983)” →

Demons (1985)

June 19, 2014March 25, 2019 ~ monsterhunter ~ Leave a comment

I’m not sure what’s scarier: the fact that Demons is often hailed as Lamberto Bava‘s masterpiece or the fact that Lamberto Bava has a masterpiece at all. Continue reading “Demons (1985)” →

House of Horrors (1946)

June 17, 2014March 22, 2019 ~ monsterhunter ~ Leave a comment

This is another one of those Rondo Hatton movies about a really ugly dude named the Creeper who breaks people’s spines. Aside from the fact that the guy’s name is Rondo, you may be wondering what qualities he had that made Universal want to build a no-budget thriller franchise around his Creeper character. Continue reading “House of Horrors (1946)” →

The Brute Man (1946)

June 16, 2014February 7, 2019 ~ monsterhunter ~ Leave a comment

Back in the mid 1940s, the only thing required to find fame in the movies was nothing more than some horribly disfiguring disease. How else to explain Rondo Hatton’s brief and unremarkable run as a screen heavy in a couple of low budget horror flicks released during the period? Continue reading “The Brute Man (1946)” →

Knights of the Round Table (1953)

June 14, 2014April 3, 2019 ~ monsterhunter ~ Leave a comment

I think it was all those speeches that Robert Taylor as Sir Lancelot delivered in his stentorian monotone that did it. When it finally came time for Arthur to banish Lance from the realm, he may have said it was because Lance couldn’t quite seem to avoid hanging on to Guinevere’s green ribbon with an almost fetish-like fervor, but honestly, he was just tired of hearing all of Lance’s chivalry babble. Continue reading “Knights of the Round Table (1953)” →