Category: 1970s

Female Prisoner #701: Scorpion (1972)

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It always seems like just when you’re about to get a commendation for running the toughest women’s prison in Japan, some crazy con decides to go over the wall and leave you looking like an overrated chump.

Of course, that wouldn’t be the worst day on the job for you. That would be that time when you got embroiled in a dust up between this same crazy con and some pig who was looking to put her in her place, but only managed to put a shard of glass in your eye. Clearly, running the toughest women’s prison in Japan isn’t the sweet gig it used to be. Continue reading “Female Prisoner #701: Scorpion (1972)” →

Five Deadly Venoms (1978)

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Kung fu movies are a little slice of heaven. Once you’ve seen some dude with bad hair in silk pajamas standing around playing patty cake with another dude in silk pajamas with equally bad, but somehow different hair, you’re pretty much spoiled for any other genre of cinema. Is there any other kind of movie that would get you so involved that you would try some drunken mantis kung fu on your bewildered dog during the talky parts? Continue reading “Five Deadly Venoms (1978)” →

Blood Suckers (1970)

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Instantly boring, this British production (originally titled Incense for the Damned) about a guy who goes to Greece because he’s impotent and ends up getting turned into a vampire by a sexy woman also manages to be insanely stupid. While I’m sure this movie had great appeal for all those British dudes without any motion in their ocean, for us American guys with plenty of rise in our Levis, the whole thing seemed a bit silly! Continue reading “Blood Suckers (1970)” →

Grizzly (1976)

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Despite seeming to be about how dangerous our national parks have the possibility of being, Grizzly actually proves just the opposite! With its chain smoking park ranger, park supervisor who mindlessly turns loose a bunch of redneck hunters in the park, invites the press to watch while refusing to close the park to guests and sexy park employee who takes a breather from hunting down the bellicose bear to strip and suggestively frolic around a waterfall, you can see why all the eco Chicken Littles are screaming that the real danger is our parks being loved to death! Continue reading “Grizzly (1976)” →

Buffalo Bill and the Indians, or Sitting Bull’s History Lesson (1976)

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Robert Altman and Paul Newman team up to give us some revisionist history about America’s greatest hero, Buffalo Bill. Mind you, I have no idea what Buffalo Bill ever did that was so dang great. I’m guessing that he killed some buffalo and Indians or something back in times when that sort of thing could pass for an occupation. Continue reading “Buffalo Bill and the Indians, or Sitting Bull’s History Lesson (1976)” →

The Island of Dr. Moreau (1977)

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Having already run through this premise with Charles Laughton in 1933’s Island Of Lost Souls and a bunch of nobodies in 1959’s Terror Is a Man, I wasn’t too excited at the prospect of sitting through some goof in his ape man make-up running down Moreau’s laws whenever Moreau wandered into his cave with a bullwhip and a chip on his shoulder. Continue reading “The Island of Dr. Moreau (1977)” →

Shock Waves (1977)

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ShockWavesPosterAmong the various secret Nazi plans to win WWII that involved the occult, clones, brain transplants, looted gold, and lost arks, the most fearsome of all (according to this movie at least, but it’s probably a bit biased) was the creation of the Death Corps.

The Death Corps, as both the narrator and later Peter Cushing would explain, were a bunch of thugs and murderers who were turned into zombies that lived only to kill. Now, I would have just thought that those things would be called Nazis, but these Death Corps guys were apparently Nazis that had turned it up a notch. Continue reading “Shock Waves (1977)” →