Category: 1970s

City Beneath the Sea (1971)

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While there are no official records to confirm it, it’s pretty obvious after watching City Beneath the Sea that it was the cause of the great jumpsuit shortage of 1971.

The film takes place in one of those movie futures where almost everyone wears monochromatic onesies while puttering around banks of flashing buttons and pretending that repurposed office furniture are some sort of advanced gear specially designed for the rigors of undersea urban life.

The jumpsuits are apparently used to designate rank or job classification with chocolate seemingly one of the most elite (next to the Admiral’s not unexpected white one) since it was modeled by special guest star Robert Wagner. (Perhaps it’s no surprise that the stunningly unflattering mustard yellow is worn by many of the faceless extras.) Continue reading “City Beneath the Sea (1971)” →

The Horror at 37,000 Feet (1973)

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An ancient demon worshiped by the Druids gets a bad case of air rage when rich douchebag architect Alan has parts of an ancient abbey from his wife’s ancestral home shipped from London to New York, including a sacrificial stone the demon is particularly attached to. (Why the demon didn’t see this as an opportunity to harass an entirely new group of people and just relax and enjoy the free flight I don’t know. Some supernatural forces just don’t do well with change I guess.) Continue reading “The Horror at 37,000 Feet (1973)” →

Satan’s School for Girls (1973)

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Even Satan himself would have to grudgingly admit that the whole sordid affair he was spearheading at the Salem Academy for Women turned into one of the more embarrassing episodes of his foul existence.

From having to take a job as an art teacher, being unable to convince at least 4 vulnerable women to pledge their souls to him (though he does mesmerize future Charlie’s Angels star Kate Jackson which is nothing to sneeze at) to being defeated by a woman posing as a student who kills almost twice as many people as he does, he doesn’t resemble so much the all powerful ruler of hell as a cool teacher turned failed cult leader. Continue reading “Satan’s School for Girls (1973)” →

The Stranger Within (1974)

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You know your pregnancy has gone off the rails when Bosley from Charlie’s Angels is hypnotizing you and demanding to know who the real father of your child is! But what else is your husband supposed to do when he’s had a vasectomy, but you somehow go and turn up all preggers despite swearing up and down that you’ve always been faithful? Do you want to save your marriage or not? Then keep your eye on the swinging pendant and try not to claw your ears out listening to David Doyle’s gravelly voice interrogating you about your sex life! Continue reading “The Stranger Within (1974)” →

Scream, Pretty Peggy (1973)

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Imagine Psycho, but if instead of running a motel, Norman Bates was a sculptor, his mother was still alive and a raging alcoholic and Marion Crane didn’t take that shower, but performed light housekeeping duties and was an art student who had a crush on Norman.  By the time the denouement  finally occurs, it’s clear that at best Scream, Pretty Peggy was heavily influenced by that earlier, far superior film and the only suspense is whether it really is going to blatantly rip off Psycho. (For fans of homely guys in drag, it happily does!) Continue reading “Scream, Pretty Peggy (1973)” →

Gargoyles (1972)

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Let’s get the obvious out of the way right up front. Gargoyles is a straight up stone cold classic TV movie. It isn’t because of the story tough. Monsters hiding out in the desert who appear every 600 years or so? If you couldn’t get the job done back in the Middle Ages when our ancestors were pooping in the streets and probably chased you off with nothing more lethal than a garden hoe, I’m not worried about you going up against us now. Even when, as here, it’s some small town cops and dirt bikers. Continue reading “Gargoyles (1972)” →

She Waits (1972)

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Despite Mark Wilson’s characteristically ugly early 1970s haircut I felt bad for him. He’s taking his new bride to meet his mother for the first time, an event fraught with peril even under the best of circumstances. Any dude who’s ever been married will tell you that more likely then not all that’s coming from that visit is that the two most important women in your life will be pissed at you simultaneously for something you had absolutely nothing to do with. Continue reading “She Waits (1972)” →