You know how I knew this was one serious apocalypse? It wasn’t because 99% of the human race had been wiped out. 99% of people are suck, plain and simple. An accidental release of a some kind of mega germ that did that is something I would characterize as more of a cure than a disaster. Continue reading “The Terror Within (1989)”
Category: 1980s
The Beast Within (1982)
This is one of those “raping swamp monster meets I Was A Teenage Werewolf” movies that was all the rage back in the late 70s and early 80s. Writer Tom Holland (Child’s Play) apparently thinks we’ll be entertained by seeing women raped by slimy creatures and teenage boys turning into really icky and horny monsters. He obviously has us humans confused with hentai fans. Continue reading “The Beast Within (1982)”
Yor, the Hunter from the Future (1983)
From the opening strains of Yor’s insanely memorable and equally insanely indecipherable theme song where Yor is prancing around various penis-shaped rocks to the very end when he’s flying off into the sunset in a spaceship while a narrator informs us that Yor is going to try to help his people prevent the mistakes of the past, but isn’t sure whether he will be successful, you are in for the absolutely greatest movie of all time that cross-pollinates the cheesy Italian barbarian movie with the cheesy Italian sci-fi movie! Continue reading “Yor, the Hunter from the Future (1983)”
Roller Blade (1986)
Surprisingly, Roller Blade is not the first post-apocalyptic roller skating movie. Skatetown, U.S.A. and Roller Boogie both preceded it by a decade. And if you don’t think either of those films qualifies as post-apocalyptic, I don’t know what else you’d call one movie starring Linda Blair from the director of Truck Stop Women and another featuring (deep breath!) Patrick Swayze, Flip Wilson, Ruth Buzzi, Horshack, Marcia Brady, Scott Baio, and some chick from Little House On The Prairie! Continue reading “Roller Blade (1986)”
The Intruder Within (1981)
The Intruder Within unsurprisingly accomplishes less than Alien, which it relentlessly rips off for its 90 minutes. But The Intruder Within accomplishes all this failure with less resources! Continue reading “The Intruder Within (1981)”
Lords of the Deep (1989)
Sometimes I lay awake at night on my stained mattress and ponder what the future holds for planet Earth. What wonders will we see come to pass? Flying cars? Cures for all diseases? An end to hunger and other cruddy stuff? But then the morning arrives along with cruel reality! And I hit my research library of Roger Corman sci-fi movies! And the terrible future that awaits us becomes clear! Continue reading “Lords of the Deep (1989)”
Absurd (1981)
There’s no question that Halloween is a cherished American movie, occupying a place in our hearts alongside such classics as Gone With the Wind, The Wizard of Oz and Bad Boys II. It’s a pretty much perfect melding of suspense, violence, atmosphere, music and floating Steadicam shots. And how many of us haven’t caught ourselves at one time or other uttering such famous Dr. Loomis quotes as “Death has come to your little town, sheriff.” and “This isn’t a man.”
But what if someone could take all that was rad about Halloween and add the only thing missing to it? That guy would be a freaking genius, right? That guy would be freaking Joe D’Amato! Continue reading “Absurd (1981)”