Category: 2000s

The Luck of the Irish (2001)

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The Luck of the Irish is a made for Disney TV movie whose preachy message of tolerance and diversity is nonchalantly tossed overboard in the final act of the movie so that its conventional fantasy movie plot of recovering a powerful object from the villains can be served.

A lame attempt to rehab things in the final scene by bludgeoning the audience over the head with the star’s ill-advised attempt to make Irish step dancing cool and in one of the more cringeworthy moments in the history of film, then having him sing “This Land is Your Land” while members of the audience join in only serves to possibly explain why you never heard of any of the actors involved ever again. Continue reading “The Luck of the Irish (2001)” →

Contract to Kill (2016)

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“Listen brother, if I get back in, a thousand motherfuckers are going to die.” So begins Steven Seagal‘s involvment in yet another convoluted mission the CIA needs him to handle. It’s all off the books of course though I am never sure how anything a guy with his weird hair, odd fashion sense and distinctive orange tinted prescription eyeglasses does could ever be off the books. And if it all ends up being several hundred dead motherfuckers short of Seagal’s earlier promise, I feel pretty good about taking an IOU from him since Contract to Kill was his seventh film of 2016. Continue reading “Contract to Kill (2016)” →

Battle Royale II (2003)

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Those of you new to this Battle Royale stuff need to check out the first one. Not because it’s necessary to understand or enjoy the second (heck, I saw the first one and I still didn’t know what was happening in this one), but because it’s a whole lot better, or at least, it’s more focused. Plus, in the first one you get lots of Beat Takeshi, while we’re relegated to about ninety seconds of Beat in cameo-flashback mode here. Continue reading “Battle Royale II (2003)” →

Godzilla Against MechaGodzilla (2002)

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Is the 26th time the charm for Godzilla? Experience had taught me not to expect a whole lot from this movie, especially since Godzilla was going to be hammering on his metal twin, Mechagodzilla. Three times previously, someone had the bright idea that all it would take to defeat him is a really big, clunky robot that other than looking slightly like Godzilla really had nothing going for it. Continue reading “Godzilla Against MechaGodzilla (2002)” →

9 Souls (2003)

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This is the movie about nine guys who break out of prison that manages to be both funny and sad that we’ve all been waiting for!

It’s a bit of a dirty trick since you get lulled into the rollicking road trip aspect of the film following their exploits as they search for some buried treasure that the tenth guy in their cell (he didn’t get to go on their field trip for some reason) has clued them in on only to have the carpet pulled out from under us ever so slowly and deliberately as the movie’s second half unfolds. Continue reading “9 Souls (2003)” →