This being a Walt Disney movie, I was let down a tad by this one. I mean, there wasn’t an asinine song and dance number to be had, not one crappy comic relief sidekick, and no bloodless, goofy violence to give the kids in the crowd the idea that pirates were lovable scamps who talked funny and needed a bath. That’s not to say that Long John Silver wasn’t someone to be admired for the way he played both ends against the middle and eventually won the respect of the kid whose throat he periodically threatened to slit. Continue reading “Treasure Island (1950)”
Category: Action
Knights of the Round Table (1953)
I think it was all those speeches that Robert Taylor as Sir Lancelot delivered in his stentorian monotone that did it. When it finally came time for Arthur to banish Lance from the realm, he may have said it was because Lance couldn’t quite seem to avoid hanging on to Guinevere’s green ribbon with an almost fetish-like fervor, but honestly, he was just tired of hearing all of Lance’s chivalry babble. Continue reading “Knights of the Round Table (1953)”
The Sea Pirate (1966)
Other than Long John Silver, Johnny Depp, and Willie Stargell, Robert Surcouf is one of our greatest and favorite pirates who ever sailed the seven seas or played left field. As befitting a man of such stature that I hadn’t heard of him until this movie, The Sea Pirate is not exactly the high profile vehicle these other pirates enjoyed (Treasure Island, Pirates of the Caribbean, the 1979 World Series), but that doesn’t mean his story isn’t worthy of an obscure mid 1960s Italian swashbuckler! It means that he’s deserving of two such films! But it also means that the second film, Il grande colpo di Surcouf has no known English release. Continue reading “The Sea Pirate (1966)”
Kill, Panther Kill! (1968)
Fifth films in movie series have a spotty track record. For every crappy movie like Star Trek V, there’s a movie like Hellraiser: Inferno that I can’t even remember if I’ve even seen it! Continue reading “Kill, Panther Kill! (1968)”
Hawk’s Vengeance (1996)
The local crime boss is using a skinhead gang to capture members of a Chinese gang so that their organs can be harvested. A local cop gets a little too nosy and is snuffed out by a pair of hitmen employed by the crime boss. His step brother, Hawk, travels back to the United States from his native England to attend the funeral and decides to dig a little deeper into his step brother’s death.
Hawk has some help from a Chinese buddy who knew his brother as well as his brother’s former partner, a blonde chick prone to lecturing Hawk on staying out of her investigation while standing around in a bra and leather skirt. Most of Hawk’s help though comes from the fact that he’s the very best British Special Forces marine ever! In short, this is your typical Gary Daniels movie. Thank God! Continue reading “Hawk’s Vengeance (1996)”
Shadow Man (2006)
Director Michael Keusch brings out the best in Steven Seagal. He got Steve to stab a bunch of folks in Attack Force and in Shadow Man he somehow convinces Steve not to rock his long black leather trenchcoat until the last third of the movie thus keeping the fanbase riveted to all the mayhem wreaked in budget-friendly Romania. Continue reading “Shadow Man (2006)”
Kick of Death (1997)
This is amateur filmmaking at its absolute worst. I realize there’s a lot of kids out there who fancy themselves filmmakers and I understand that everybody has to start somewhere. Shoot, we hear all the time about how famous filmmakers used to make stupid little movies on their super-8 cameras when they were kids. But I generally don’t have a VHS of them. Continue reading “Kick of Death (1997)”