Category: Adventure

Secrets of the Pirates’ Inn (1969)

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SecretsOfThePiratesInnCoverA gang of kids helps a sea captain relative search for a pirate’s treasure that’s rumored to be hidden somewhere in the old dilapidated inn the sea captain just inherited from his dead brother. Along the way, they unravel a series of clues which lead to a variety of hidden passages and trap doors. But they are not alone in their quest for Jean Lafitte’s pirate goodies!

Someone is shadowing their every move, messing about in the basement, stealing clues, and leaving spooky footprints in the kitchen! Who can it be? The cantankerous caretaker, Vern Padgett, who doesn’t like kids or old sea captains? Or is it the nosy reporter, Carl Buchanan, in from Baton Rouge to dig up a story and just maybe a little treasure, too? Continue reading “Secrets of the Pirates’ Inn (1969)” →

Jungle Raiders (1985)

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I like a main character in a movie that needs as much action as I do! Too many times we’re saddled with reluctant heroes and guys who only grudgingly go about the business of serious ass kicking.

Where are the dudes who want to take it right to the dirty scum that’s threatening to take over everything that matters to them? Isn’t there anyone willing to risk everything for the simple pleasure of killing Borneo pirates? Aren’t there any two-fisted guys in red neck kerchiefs and sea captain’s hats that don’t mind invading the island stronghold of the evil Tiger single-handedly while time bombs are going off everywhere around him? Continue reading “Jungle Raiders (1985)” →

Toby Tyler, or Ten Weeks with a Circus (1960)

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Toby Tyler PosterToby is just a little kid who doesn’t ask for much. He’s poor and lives with relatives who hate him, but he is super-stoked when the circus rolls in to town. And this isn’t some newfangled circus that hands out coupons at the local grocery store. This is a full-blown, traveling circus that comes right up Main Street, U.S.A. in all its brightly colored glory. In short, exactly the sort of kick ass circus any brat with a cruddy home life would run away with. Continue reading “Toby Tyler, or Ten Weeks with a Circus (1960)” →

Raiders of the Magic Ivory (1988)

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Raiders of the Magic Ivory Italian PosterWhy pay a couple of mercenaries $125,000 up front to get a magic tablet when you just send your own man along to betray them and steal the tablet? Especially when you’ve already gone to the trouble of having one of them break the other out of prison? And even more especially since the only unique skill set either of the mercs bring to the job is an ability to shoot stuff which is only exceeded by their talent for swearing?

Couldn’t all the hired thugs you have on staff at your compound have done that? And without the nasty habit of hunting you down for revenge after the double cross? (Please tell me it wasn’t to avoid paying the remaining $125,000 you were to remit upon delivery of the tablet.) Continue reading “Raiders of the Magic Ivory (1988)” →

Demetrius and the Gladiators (1954)

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Nine months after Richard Burton was harassed into becoming a Christian by a red beach towel in The Robe, Hollywood decided it was time for a sequel. Since this whole Christian thing worked out so well for Burton and co-star Jean Simmons (you might recall they ended up on the wrong end of the archery field at the end of The Robe), it was left to Victor Mature to run around squawking about this robe and how it can just butt out of his life when things get rough.

Everyone’s favorite character in this movie (well, aside from the robe – it’s kind of hard to be a real Christian and not pick the robe) is Strabo, the tough but lovable guy that runs the gladiator school and played by Ernest Borgnine. Continue reading “Demetrius and the Gladiators (1954)” →

The Seven Magnificent Gladiators (1983)

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SevenMagnificentGladiatorsVHSCoverThe ancient world was one where Gods walked among mere mortals. Gods who were endowed with powers such as immortality, superior fighting skills, magic swords, and leather outfits any of you kinky bastards would be proud to prance around in. And we’re talking both the girls and guys – the ancient world was not as repressed as us modern types. And these Gods had names that we recognize even today! Names such as Brad Harris! Sybil Danning! And the most incredible of them all, Lou Ferrigno!

Some of you may be nodding your head in recognition as you surely recall Brad, Sybil, and Lou in the Italian sword and sandal classic of 1983, Hercules. Yes, it was a thrilling tale of bad special effects and bears being hurled into outer space, but why rehash that spectacularly sweaty piece of trash again? Continue reading “The Seven Magnificent Gladiators (1983)” →