If you can watch Dorothy in the Land of Oz and watch Dorothy carrying around a talking pie and not snicker, I don’t want to know you. This marginally Thanksgiving-related special leaves you wondering if someone dosed your stuffing with LSD right from the beginning when the Wizard of Oz himself appears to steal said pie from Auntie Em’s window sill! (This was before the pie was transported with Dorothy and Toto to Oz and achieved sentience through the accidental application of a special powder.) Continue reading “Dorothy in the Land of Oz (1980)”
Tyrone Power had much better known films than The Luck of the Irish during his all-too brief film career (tragically cut short at the age of 44 due to a heart attack) such as The Mark of Zorro, The Razor’s Edge, and Nightmare Alley, but his turn as newspaper man Stephen Fitzgerald romancing a pair of women ably demonstrates that he was a star in spite of what was otherwise silly material better suited for a 1980s sitcom than a vehicle for one of the biggest box office draws of his time. Continue reading “The Luck of the Irish (1948)”
Intensive research. Months of planning. Designing and testing cutting edge equipment. Recruiting and training an elite team of crew members. This is the bare minimum necessary when undertaking a mission of exploration into the unknown, whether it be into deep space, the bottom of the ocean or even straight into the center of the Earth. Taking a shortcut on even one of those things will almost certainly lead to disaster! Neglecting all of them? Almost certainly will lead to a cheesy period fantasy movie! Continue reading “Where Time Began (1977)”
As anyone who has watched science documentaries like Frankenstein or Friday the 13th Part VI: Jason Lives knows, you can’t go around leaving your monsters out in the middle of a lightning storm. All it takes is one or two magic bolts of lightning and presto, you’re in the middle of a dinosaur rampage and worrying about your girlfriend getting raped by a caveman!
In its defense, Dinosaurus! attempts to be even-handed in its portrayal of recently reanimated prehistoric life, showcasing the positive side of things as well. Take little native boy Julio for instance. What boy hasn’t always dreamed of playing house with a Neanderthal and teaching him how to eat pie with a fork? Continue reading “Dinosaurus! (1960)”
Ursus, The Terror of the Kirghiz (released as Hercules, Prisoner Of Evil in the U.S.) documents an important geopolitical struggle between two tribes of grubby barbarians you never heard of. Continue reading “Ursus, The Terror of the Kirghiz (1964)”
The Luck of the Irish is a made for Disney TV movie whose preachy message of tolerance and diversity is nonchalantly tossed overboard in the final act of the movie so that its conventional fantasy movie plot of recovering a powerful object from the villains can be served.
A lame attempt to rehab things in the final scene by bludgeoning the audience over the head with the star’s ill-advised attempt to make Irish step dancing cool and in one of the more cringeworthy moments in the history of film, then having him sing “This Land is Your Land” while members of the audience join in only serves to possibly explain why you never heard of any of the actors involved ever again. Continue reading “The Luck of the Irish (2001)”
If you’re watching Alan Steele (Zorro contro Maciste) in this movie and wondering just where it was that he learned how to pose and wear his leather gauntlets with so much authenticity, it’s because he apprenticed under the very best in the beefcake business. Continue reading “Hercules Against the Moon Men (1964)”