Category: Fantasy

The Luck of the Irish (2001)

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The Luck of the Irish is a made for Disney TV movie whose preachy message of tolerance and diversity is nonchalantly tossed overboard in the final act of the movie so that its conventional fantasy movie plot of recovering a powerful object from the villains can be served.

A lame attempt to rehab things in the final scene by bludgeoning the audience over the head with the star’s ill-advised attempt to make Irish step dancing cool and in one of the more cringeworthy moments in the history of film, then having him sing “This Land is Your Land” while members of the audience join in only serves to possibly explain why you never heard of any of the actors involved ever again. Continue reading “The Luck of the Irish (2001)” →

Beyond Tomorrow (1940)

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Three friends have their Christmas Eve dinner plans canceled so they do what anyone would do under the circumstances – devise a wacky Candid Camera-style stunt by tossing wallets with ten dollar bills and each one of their business cards into the street! Then they wait to see if anyone has the old Christmas spirit in them and returns the wallet with the cash. And anyone who does will be invited to dinner! Continue reading “Beyond Tomorrow (1940)” →

Secret of the Incas’ Empire (1987)

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Secret of the Incas Empire VHS CoverAt long last it can be revealed! The startling secret of the Incas’ empire has been hidden from the eyes of the white man for a millennia! Now, thanks to the unceasing efforts of Professor Bradbury and his sidekick, Linda Logan, the entire world will know what has been concealed beneath the volcano deep in Incan country, wherever the hell that is! Continue reading “Secret of the Incas’ Empire (1987)” →

The Island at the Top of the World (1974)

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The Island at the Top of the World cannot be faulted for misleading the viewer about what awesome stuff might be stashed away on this island hidden in a cloud. All hopes of some fantastical treasure or creatures are immediately dashed when one character breathlessly advises that it contains the mythical graveyard of the whales. Surely there is something mythical that will take your breath away about it, but I’m guessing it’s just the overpowering stench of acres of dead whales. Continue reading “The Island at the Top of the World (1974)” →

The White Pony (1999)

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White Pony DVD CoverUnlike a lot of Olivier Gruner films, The White Pony concludes with a climatic dressage competition that sees an evil teenaged girl sabotaging her cousin’s riding equipment, abusing her own horse and whacking her cousin with a riding crop. And also unlike a lot Gruner’s films, he stands around the whole movie with his thumb up his ass while his daughter treats his niece like so many road apples. Okay, to be fair, he does snicker a bit when his niece falls off her horse and lands in a horse pie, but he doesn’t get any credit for that because any of us would have done the same. Continue reading “The White Pony (1999)” →

A Very Unlucky Leprechaun (1998)

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A Very Unlucky Leprechaun DVD CoverMolly’s life is full of sad backstory that you normally only find in routine country music songs. Her mom died (a mother’s survival rate in so-called “kid friendly” leprechaun movies like this always approaches zero) and then she is forced to move to an old cursed relative’s home in Ireland because her loser dad Howard can’t seem to sell his newest “how to” book and went and lost their house. Of course, it turns out that there is a significant amount of back taxes owed on the house in Ireland which Howard also can’t afford. Maybe for his next “how to” book Howard should write about the wisdom of staying in America and just renting an apartment. Continue reading “A Very Unlucky Leprechaun (1998)” →