Category: Fantasy

The Giant of Metropolis (1961)

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The Giant of Metropolis features Gordon Mitchell and if he looks a little rough around the edges, it might be because he began making this movie a mere two days after he wrapped Maciste In The Land Of The Cyclops. But it probably has something more to do with the fact that he was thirty-eight years old!

Is there anything that makes you squirm more than having to see some guy’s dad running around sucking his gigantic chest in and flashing his old man guns at you every five seconds? All of this may explain why there are some scenes where he has to walk around on rocky ground and looks like he’s stumbling and about ready to fall over. Continue reading “The Giant of Metropolis (1961)” →

The Christmas That Almost Wasn’t (1966)

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Here’s one instance where the author of the book can’t whine about how his precious work of art has been bastardized by the film industry into a commercial bit of tripe not befitting the work of genius that his powerful novel about The Chrsitmas That Almost Wasn’t was. You see, Paul Tripp, the author of said powerful novel also starred in the movie, wrote the screenplay and is credited with coming up with the lyrics to the copious songs that littered this movie like giant piles of reindeer crabapples. (Did you think songs that rhymed “sorry” and “jolly” wrote themselves?) Continue reading “The Christmas That Almost Wasn’t (1966)” →

The Invincible Gladiators (1964)

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The ancient world was unquestionably fraught with peril what with rampaging monsters, power-crazed kings, smelly barbarians, and sporadic shortages of bronzer which no doubt caused our humongous heroes no end of trouble and headaches.

Some muscular missions though were tougher than others. For instance, a subterranean kingdom populated by hundreds of leopard men and ruled by an evil sexy queen who enslaved regular guys sure sounds like it has all the makings of a 10.0 magnitude beefquake! And it does! Times two!

It’s understandable if you just juiced your jockstrap because all the stops are pulled out for the 24th of 25 Maciste films produced in the early 1960s! It’s an underground adventure so vast that it will take not one, but two Macistes to handle the deltoid-destroying duties! Continue reading “The Invincible Gladiators (1964)” →

The Perils of Gwendoline in the Land of the Yik Yak (1984)

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GwendolinePosterLike Jane and the Lost City, this is another bottom of the barrel Indiana Jones rip-off based on a comic-strip featuring a heroine who gets into all kinds of outlandish and semi-nude situations. And while Jane and her PG rating never even tried to get naughty, Gwendoline actually attempts to deliver the dirty goods! And of course fails woefully. Continue reading “The Perils of Gwendoline in the Land of the Yik Yak (1984)” →

Mr. Superinvisible (1970)

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Mr. Superinvisible is a landmark in the world of cinema chiefly because it proves that co-starring with Sandy Duncan and a duck in The Million Dollar Duck was not the nadir of Dean Jones’ career! To his credit, Dean at least did the honorable thing and did what so many of our other Silver Screen heroes of days gone by did when in need of easy money – he went to Italy!

And easier money was never to be had! Since this a flick where Dean plays a guy who turns invisible, he doesn’t even have to appear in most of it! Just a few days on set to humiliate yourself by wearing a dress or hiding your nasty bits with palm fronds and a couple of hours in the audio booth dubbing dialogue so bad even the regular crew of Italian dubbing masters couldn’t be persuaded to do it and BANG! Another six hundred bucks to pay off that 1970 Fiat 124 Sport Spider! Continue reading “Mr. Superinvisible (1970)” →

Jack and the Beanstalk (1970)

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Fee, fi, fo, fum! I smell the stench of another shabby Barry Mahon kiddie picture! This is the other movie on the DVD from Something Weird that features The Wonderful Land Of Oz, a movie that looks positively big budget compared to this one.

At least Barry’s ill-advised trip to Oz actually had the actors in costume, In Jack And The Beanstalk, most of the folks who wander around the set are dressed up like they were extras on an episode of The Brady Bunch, resulting in some scary striped pants, fringed vests, and a haircut for Jack that Peter Brady would have appreciated. Continue reading “Jack and the Beanstalk (1970)” →