Count Yorga, Vampire wants to bring the vampire into the modern world to see what would happen if some jaded city dwellers encountered a creature they thought only existed in myth. The only problem is that the movie is so small-scale, none of the potentially interesting culture clashes between the old vampire and the happening young kids and their big scary city happen. Continue reading “Count Yorga, Vampire (1970)”
Category: Horror
The Beast Within (1982)
This is one of those “raping swamp monster meets I Was A Teenage Werewolf” movies that was all the rage back in the late 70s and early 80s. Writer Tom Holland (Child’s Play) apparently thinks we’ll be entertained by seeing women raped by slimy creatures and teenage boys turning into really icky and horny monsters. He obviously has us humans confused with hentai fans. Continue reading “The Beast Within (1982)”
She Freak (1967)
A surprisingly unremarkable movie in all aspects, especially considering its subject matter, She Freak pointlessly updates Tod Browning’s Freaks by adding a twenty minute prologue detailing star Claire Brennen’s (Jade) unhappiness at her job in a small town diner. I don’t know about anyone else, but I paid my two bits to see pinheads, geeks, fat ladies, strongmen, and seal boys, not to watch Jade rebuff the greasy tub of a boss she has before running off to the join the carnival. Continue reading “She Freak (1967)”
Dr. Lamb (1992)
You know, I can never get enough of these movies about deranged Hong Kong taxi cab drivers banging corpses. There’s just something life affirming about knowing that our country is not the only cesspool capable of producing these animals.
Besides, with China’s birth control policy, the population over there has become unbalanced, leaving lots of deranged taxi cab drivers whose best bet for a date is the streetwalker-fare they just strangled to death in the back seat of the cab. “Mother is the invention of opportunity” is probably how the rudimentary English subtitles would no doubt put it. Continue reading “Dr. Lamb (1992)”
Dawn of the Dead (1978)
After having seen Dawn of the Dead about ten different times, the prospect of watching it yet again filled me with the kind of dread I usually reserve for when I’m watching those Paul Naschy movies where he turns into a werewolf and is thus forced to run around shirtless. Continue reading “Dawn of the Dead (1978)”
The Alligator People (1959)
Swamp gas about a new bride trying to find out why her husband suddenly bugged out on her after receiving a mysterious telegram while aboard a train.
Though it’s clear to you and I as soon he reads the telegram and that “holy crap, my doctor says that experimental treatment he gave me to help me recover from that horrific plane crash is going to slowly turn me into a human alligator” look comes over his face as to why he has to leave, for some reason Joyce Webster can’t puzzle any of it out. Continue reading “The Alligator People (1959)”
The Intruder Within (1981)
The Intruder Within unsurprisingly accomplishes less than Alien, which it relentlessly rips off for its 90 minutes. But The Intruder Within accomplishes all this failure with less resources! Continue reading “The Intruder Within (1981)”