They are the greatest (teenage) monsters in the history of the silver screen. They’ve appeared in countless (one each) classic thrillers. They launched the careers of some of the biggest names in show business history (Michael Landon and some other guys you’ve never heard of). And now, after years (well – one year) in the making these classic monsters finally clash in the greatest, no holds barred, monster mash up ever filmed! (Okay, they never actually fight each other, but they do talk with one another out of make up!)

How To Make A Monster taunts us with the promise that all those Universal monster team-up movies like House of Frankenstein and House of Dracula delivered, but what this one ultimately delivers is a murder melodrama headlined not by teenaged terrors, but by a disgruntled movie studio employee! Continue reading “How to Make a Monster (1958)” →

Could someone get Teenage Frankenstein some antiperspirant? It isn’t bad enough that he’s made out of smelly, rotted body parts, but the dude’s got Frisbees as well!

Surely if Dr. Frankenstein was smart enough to play God and get his teenage protege up and around, he could at least provide him with the most rudimentary of personal hygiene equipment. After all, you wouldn’t let your Teenage Frankenstein wipe his reanimated ass with his recently stitched on hand would you? Then how could you let him stink the joint up when he’s out strangling hussies? All the police have to do is follow the B.O. back to your secret lab! Continue reading “I Was a Teenage Frankenstein (1957)” →

I Was A Teenage Werewolf never explains why poor old Tony is dispatched with wimpy police issue bullets. And if you think that I just laid a real smelly dog turd of a spoiler on your front lawn there, try to remember that a teenage werewolf whose transformations are triggered by the school bell probably isn’t a prime candidate to reach old age, even in dog years! I mean that sucker is going to be growing fangs and eating teachers and students about what – 14 or 15 times a day? Someone is bound to eventually notice that!

Tony is just your average high school kid with an anger management problem. He’ll fight you just as soon as look at you and he doesn’t mind fighting dirty if that’s what the situation calls for! Whether this involves swinging a shovel at another guy during one of his after school fights or chucking dirt in his opponent’s eyes, one thing is for sure: Tony is in it to win it. To him, second place is the first loser. Continue reading “I Was a Teenage Werewolf (1957)” →