Rats: Night of Terror (1984)

October 27, 2013November 27, 2019 ~ monsterhunter ~ Leave a comment

The year is 225 A.B. The A.B. stands for “after the bomb” and the world is a different place than the ones we’re used to in Italian gore movies. Gone are the cities infested by zombies, gone are the grottos infested by vampires, gone are the oceans infested by various Jaws rip offs. All that remains are buildings infested with rats!

But not just any rats mind you, but rats that look suspiciously like guinea pigs with a nice bronzer applied. It’s all because of the radiation and the accompanying mutation you understand. It makes you wonder what guinea pigs look like in this new world! Continue reading “Rats: Night of Terror (1984)” →

Hell of the Living Dead (1980)

October 27, 2013October 26, 2019 ~ monsterhunter ~ 2 Comments

The usual take on this film is that the story rips off Dawn Of The Dead, the music is ripped off from Dawn Of The Dead, Beyond The Darkness, and whatever other scores Goblin did for different Italian gore movies, and that the result is one of the most bottom of the barrel zombie movies of all time. To which I say,”thank God!” Continue reading “Hell of the Living Dead (1980)” →

The Brain Eaters (1958)

October 23, 2013February 7, 2019 ~ monsterhunter ~ Leave a comment

I suppose you’ve got to expect a little brain eating activity when you live in a quiet little town like Riverdale, Illinois. Though grossly under-reported by our traitorous liberal media, the War on Terror has been fought in one horse hamlets like Riverdale for decades! Alien invasions, body snatchings, gigantic insects, arachnids, animals, unnatural swarms of same, ghosts, regular old serial killers, cults, periodic appearance by Satan and/or his minions, and biker gangs all routinely take their shots at taking everything good and clean about this country and making it a big steaming heap of evil poop soup! Continue reading “The Brain Eaters (1958)” →

The Angry Red Planet (1959)

October 17, 2013January 31, 2019 ~ monsterhunter ~ Leave a comment

One of the great truisms of our universe is that if Mars isn’t invading Earth, then we are invading Mars. Like a couple of feuding neighbors that throw dead birds in the other’s pool and send the Jehovah’s Witnesses to each other’s house, both planets can’t seem to get by without trying to take a space dump on the other one. Continue reading “The Angry Red Planet (1959)” →

It! The Terror from Beyond Space (1958)

October 14, 2013November 1, 2019 ~ monsterhunter ~ Leave a comment

The year is the far flung future of 1973. It’s a bizarre future where people don’t have muttonchop sideburns, drive AMC Gremlins or say stuff like “you dig.” In fact, this future looks like the black and white world of the late 1950s where taking a trip into space meant smoking Lucky Strikes in the rocket, putting shiny goop in your hair and having the lady astronauts clear the dinner table and serve you coffee. (Is this a rocket ship or a Denny’s?) Continue reading “It! The Terror from Beyond Space (1958)” →

War of the Colossal Beast (1958)

October 13, 2013February 4, 2015 ~ monsterhunter ~ Leave a comment

It’s the most chilling, diabolical scheme of terror ever conceived by a movie monster! The great food trucks of Mexico are being mercilessly hijacked and their contents eaten! Native youths employed by cunning foreigners are left in a state of shock! Cunning foreigners seeking to take advantage of cheap labor are left with bars and restaurants without chips and salsa! And somewhere in Los Angeles, a woman who refuses to believe her brother died at the end of The Amazing Colossal Man may hold the key to unraveling this tastiest of all mysteries! Continue reading “War of the Colossal Beast (1958)” →

Ghost of Dragstrip Hollow (1959)

October 10, 2013October 26, 2019 ~ monsterhunter ~ 1 Comment

Would it be a really lazy gimmick if I tried to be funny by appropriating the overbaked hipster slang the hot rodding kids used in this film and declared it to be “the ginchiest?”

Sure, I’ve always been one to take my crate out and race for pink slips, but these hot chewers were the mostest!

Lest, you think I’m exaggerating the lengths this movie went to get inside the head of modern (well, 1959 modern that is) kids who love to make poker runs in their tricked out muscle sleds, the movie finishes with these words on the screen: The Endest Man. Continue reading “Ghost of Dragstrip Hollow (1959)” →