A cautionary tale about the dangers of standing up to bullies, Massacre at Central High will likely trigger gasps of disbelief for a generation of snowflakes raised to believe that youthful tormentors serve no purpose and that teachers and administrators at their school are ever present to assist students and keep them safe. Continue reading “Massacre at Central High (1976)”
Category: Horror
No Place to Hide (1981)
Contrary to everyone else in her life, I didn’t think that wealthy art student Amy Manning was crazy when she claimed that a man in black hid in her car or stalked her through the halls of her school while, saying “soon, Amy soon.” I also didn’t believe she was delusional when the flower shop delivered a black wreath with “RIP” attached to it to her.
What made it clear that she was unbalanced, though suspiciously no one ever commented on it, was that despite her belief she was being stalked by someone never seen by anyone else, she insisted on putting herself in situations where she was all alone at various locations. Under the circumstances, would a rational person stay late at her art class so that she was the last person in the whole school in the middle of the night? (Except for the black clad maniac chasing her through the deserted hallways of course.) Continue reading “No Place to Hide (1981)”
Embryo (1976)
To those without any vision, Dr. Paul Holliston is just another in a long line of delusional Frankensteins playing God with human life with the expected disastrous results. Ethics and rules are there for a reason, you egomaniac! Who are you to decide to bring life into this world without the consent of the biological parents! What makes you think you can conduct these grotesque experiments without professional oversight, lecture the smug status quo drones!
If I’m Dr. Holliston, I’d send them a message letting them know that I’m too busy watching special guest star Roddy McDowall being put in his place at a party during a game of chess against my experiment named Victoria. And my nights are just too damn busy teaching her how babies are normally made since my secret sauce made her grow from a grody little embryo to a perfect 10 in like a month! Did I mention that if you keep giving me lip, I’ll sic my super intelligent Doberman on you? Last time I saw that little bugger he was helping Victoria dispose of a dead hooker! Continue reading “Embryo (1976)”
The Horror at 37,000 Feet (1973)
An ancient demon worshiped by the Druids gets a bad case of air rage when rich douchebag architect Alan has parts of an ancient abbey from his wife’s ancestral home shipped from London to New York, including a sacrificial stone the demon is particularly attached to. (Why the demon didn’t see this as an opportunity to harass an entirely new group of people and just relax and enjoy the free flight I don’t know. Some supernatural forces just don’t do well with change I guess.) Continue reading “The Horror at 37,000 Feet (1973)”
Satan’s School for Girls (1973)
Even Satan himself would have to grudgingly admit that the whole sordid affair he was spearheading at the Salem Academy for Women turned into one of the more embarrassing episodes of his foul existence.
From having to take a job as an art teacher, being unable to convince at least 4 vulnerable women to pledge their souls to him (though he does mesmerize future Charlie’s Angels star Kate Jackson which is nothing to sneeze at) to being defeated by a woman posing as a student who kills almost twice as many people as he does, he doesn’t resemble so much the all powerful ruler of hell as a cool teacher turned failed cult leader. Continue reading “Satan’s School for Girls (1973)”
The Stranger Within (1974)
You know your pregnancy has gone off the rails when Bosley from Charlie’s Angels is hypnotizing you and demanding to know who the real father of your child is! But what else is your husband supposed to do when he’s had a vasectomy, but you somehow go and turn up all preggers despite swearing up and down that you’ve always been faithful? Do you want to save your marriage or not? Then keep your eye on the swinging pendant and try not to claw your ears out listening to David Doyle’s gravelly voice interrogating you about your sex life! Continue reading “The Stranger Within (1974)”
Scream, Pretty Peggy (1973)
Imagine Psycho, but if instead of running a motel, Norman Bates was a sculptor, his mother was still alive and a raging alcoholic and Marion Crane didn’t take that shower, but performed light housekeeping duties and was an art student who had a crush on Norman. By the time the denouement finally occurs, it’s clear that at best Scream, Pretty Peggy was heavily influenced by that earlier, far superior film and the only suspense is whether it really is going to blatantly rip off Psycho. (For fans of homely guys in drag, it happily does!) Continue reading “Scream, Pretty Peggy (1973)”