Running Red (1999)

RunningRedCoverGregori and Sergei were just a couple of brothers in the Soviet special forces on a mission to take down a Spanish nerve gas factory! Aside from the fact that Soviet special forces guys go on some strange missions, they run into the same sorts of problems our own movie special forces guys sometimes run into.

The mission goes horribly wrong, a commanding officer demands that Gregori kill a child and when he refuses, does so himself! Sergei meanwhile gets all shot up by the Spanish bad guys and dies with Gregori at his side. Gregori then retires from the Soviet Army to a life in suburban California, desperately trying to forget the past! It’s like this guy is everything we love about Doctor Zhivago, Ivan Drago, and Yakov Smirnoff (he says “Do svidaniya!” to a guy right before he shoots him) all rolled into one! Continue reading “Running Red (1999)”

Memorial Day (1998)

Kenpo legend Jeff Speakman is of course famous for his legendary Kenpo movie The Perfect Weapon. He is not famous for other movies such as The Expert, Scorpio One or Deadly Outbreak. I think I knew what the hell Kenpo was back in the early 1990s, but I don’t have the slightest idea what it entails anymore. Probably something with sticks and lots of grunting and kicking. Continue reading “Memorial Day (1998)”

Deadly Outbreak (1995)

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been stopped on the street by total strangers and told “Deadly Outbreak is just Die Hard in a chemical plant.” I suppose they’re just trying to be cute, but I’ve never been one to maintain a polite silence in social situations so I always fire back with both barrels. “Die Hard is just Deadly Outbreak in a skyscraper,” I respond and then bring it all home by adding, “but without Jeff Speakman!” Then I go all Kenpo over their ass just like Jeff would do! Continue reading “Deadly Outbreak (1995)”

The Expert (1995)

When was it during The Expert that I realized I was watching the “Most Underrated Jeff Speakman Movie I Only Vaguely Remember Hearing About When It Came Out?” Was it when Speakman took his date to the museum with the giant statute of a woman who represented justice or liberty or whatever and proclaimed that he came for the solitude? Or was it when the warden of a prison proudly announced to the gathered media that he had catered that night’s execution? Surely, it had to be that time when Speakman was run over by a car in an alley behind a bar and then proceeded to beat the holy hell out of the four guys inside of it – all while rocking a kick ass jean jacket! Continue reading “The Expert (1995)”

Street Knight (1993)

Street Knight PosterJeff Speakman was the best super cop L.A. had ever seen. Graduated at the top of his class, special commendations from the mayor, key to the city, employee of the month, etc. But it all changed that fateful day while working a hostage situation where some crudbum psycho is holding a little girl at gunpoint threatening to blow her frigging head off. Jeff tries to talk him down, but some pud cop behind Jeff spooks the guy and he blasts the little girl’s melon clean off right in front of Jeff! Then he shoots Jeff, too! There goes that sweet parking space for being employee of the month! Continue reading “Street Knight (1993)”

The Perfect Weapon (1991)

PerfectWeaponPosterThe Perfect Weapon? The Perfect Speakman is more like it! This first film in the Jeff Speakman mythos (Street Knight is next) details his secret origin as Kenpo bad ass supreme and never lets up until Snap’s “I’ve Got The Power” plays as Jeff returns to Master Lo’s Kenpo Dojo to meet up with his lady, Jennifer! Apparently there are TV versions of the movie where Jeff actually interacts with Jennifer instead of staring wistfully at her from across the street earlier on in the story, but the TV versions are clearly for pussies!

With only 85 minutes to play with, this lightning quick kung fu chop to the nads of a movie had to make the choice to detail Jeff’s secret pole vaulting powers or the romance with Jenny. And just how is karate kicking his way into Jenny’s pants going to get him up and over the razor wire fence down at the docks during his quest for vengeance? Exactly. Continue reading “The Perfect Weapon (1991)”

Scorpio One (1998)

ScorpioOneCoverJeff Speakman (The Perfect Weapon, Running Red) plays Jared Stone, the leader of a team of Army Rangers flying on the Space Shuttle up to the Scorpio One space station. But there’s a rotten apple or four among all the people on the Shuttle (there’s as many bad guys as good guys on the flight!) and it isn’t long before dudes are having their helmets unsealed accidentally, depressurized in an air lock accidentally, or cutting Stone’s air hose accidentally. Hey, these space flights are a risky business! I’ve seen that Apollo 13 movie, so I know!

When the bad guys finally reveal their hand and you realize who their leader is, you’ll have no choice but to watch the rest of the movie about a foot away from your TV while standing! Because facing off against low-budget American action film legend Jeff Speakman is low budget Italian action film legend Brent Huff! Continue reading “Scorpio One (1998)”