A surprisingly unremarkable movie in all aspects, especially considering its subject matter, She Freak pointlessly updates Tod Browning’s Freaks by adding a twenty minute prologue detailing star Claire Brennen’s (Jade) unhappiness at her job in a small town diner. I don’t know about anyone else, but I paid my two bits to see pinheads, geeks, fat ladies, strongmen, and seal boys, not to watch Jade rebuff the greasy tub of a boss she has before running off to the join the carnival. Continue reading “She Freak (1967)”
Who is the real Ali Baba? Is he just a simple woodcutter who stumbled onto the greatest find in all of ancient Arabia? Perhaps he’s just a common thief, sneaking around securing his ill-gotten gains by eavesdropping on other thieves? Or maybe he’s the guy who has to constantly be saved from the murderous thieves by the guile of his brother’s slave girl?
If you were any kind of reader, all the foregoing would certainly be possible based on the tale commonly recounted in One Thousand and One Nights. My Ali Baba though is too cool for trillion year old stories that don’t make a lick of sense. (What sort of lesson does this story teach – make sure your slave girl is some kind of Navy SEAL?) Continue reading “Ali Baba and the Sacred Crown (1962)”
Any ambivalence that I had for watching a movie about a killer turkey disappeared as soon as I laid eyes on our hero, a biker by the name of Herschell. The only thing I have to say is why in the hell didn’t anyone tell me this movie starred Elvis? Continue reading “Blood Freak (1972)”
Someone is stalking the distinctly inbred-looking ladies of Huntington, West Virginia leaving them laying in a heap, choked out with a stocking, and a big red “X” tattooed on their forehead with lipstick. What demented freak could possibly be behind this mildly interesting crime spree? Continue reading “Teen-Age Strangler (1964)”
Deputy Sheriff Dan Colter is in charge of making sure that the people who are driving on a remote stretch of mountain road at four in the morning are stopped at his little roadblock and protected from an atomic attack. Shockingly, this is the least idiotic part of the civil defense plan he implements! Continue reading “This Is Not a Test (1962)”
This is an on again, but mostly off again satire about how dumb war is. I assume it’s some type of satire for two reasons. One is that there are some scenes in this movie that look like they were intended to be silly as opposed to just being chalked up to the usual incompetence you see in cheap imports like this. The other reason is because the back of the DVD box tells me so. Continue reading “Atomic War Bride (1960)”
Terry has just moved with her two square folks from Manhattan to whatever scurve part of the east coast it is where guys in leather jackets carry switch blades, hang out in restaurants, and gossip endlessly about what group of goofs rumbled with what other group of goofs the Saturday night before.
Back in Manhattan, Terry was the deb of the leader of the Golden Falcons, but then her parents had to move so now she’s looking to join the Rebels. Just how cool are you if you to have switch gangs like changing schools every time your parents move? And why aren’t you living with the leader of the Golden Falcons anyway? You are his deb, aren’t you Terry? Continue reading “Teenage Gang Debs (1966)”