Any doubt you may have had that you were in for one of those multi-generational epics about some woman who was either tough as nails and persevered through years of hardship or how she became tough as nails as a result of said hardship is laid to rest as soon as you get a gander at the Bride of Frankenstein coiffeur that adorns star Rosalind Russell for the second half of this too lengthy endeavor about not very much. Continue reading “Roughly Speaking (1945)”
Return to Peyton Place (1961)
When Peyton Place came out, it quickly surpassed The Bible as America’s favorite book. And it was easy to see why. You had your white trash rapes, your repressed blonde hussies slapping their hormonal blonde hussy daughters, your sensitive male who had all the answers, and even World War II! Continue reading “Return to Peyton Place (1961)”
Thunder III (1988)
The first time was for his ancient Indian burial ground! The second time was for his wife’s miscarriage! Now, Thunder is back for his biggest, most destructive revenge mission of all! When the local yokels destroyed Thunder’s RV park, they should have made sure he was in the camper, too! Continue reading “Thunder III (1988)”
Thunder II (1987)
When we last saw Thunder, he was shooting arrows into cops, blowing up cars with a bazooka, and demolishing a bank and the police station in his home town with a stolen front end loader. Forced to take the law into his own hands when an Indian burial ground was being desecrated and when his girlfriend was almost raped, Thunder clearly didn’t have the time or patience for the White Man’s law. Especially since it was being enforced by crooked cops who hated Indians! It makes perfect sense then that Thunder II finds Thunder a deputy sheriff! Continue reading “Thunder II (1987)”
Thunder (1983)
What Fabrizio De Angelis was able to accomplish with Thunder (Thunder Warrior in the U.S.) as a first time director is undoubtedly not unprecedented. I’m sure there’s several good examples of directors who make good movies their first time behind the camera, but I’m a man, so all I know is sports. Besides, what Fabrizio did here is more akin to winning a championship as opposed to just making a better than average flick. Continue reading “Thunder (1983)”
Strike Commando 2 (1988)
The first time was for his country! And for his crew of blown up strike commandos! And for that little kid named Lao that he promised he would take to Disneyland where the popcorn grows on trees! This time though…it’s personal! Strike Commando returns with his most vengeance-filled mission ever as he beats the Philippine jungles (standing in for the Nam) looking for his mentor, the man who saved his life back when they were both fighting the Man’s dirty little war!
Major Vic Jenkins has been reported killed, but Strike Commando is told by an old buddy that Vic is really alive and that his death had been faked and he is being held prisoner by the CIA or the KGB or the PTA or someone. Both Strike Commando and my reactions were immediate! Strike Commando immediately went down to the local CIA office to bust some heads while I wondered just who the hell Major Vic Jenkins was. Continue reading “Strike Commando 2 (1988)”
Peyton Place (1957)
Peyton Place is a laughably silly soaper that dates rather badly with its meager attempts to be risqué by frequently referencing how everyone in town constantly thinks about sex.
For instance, Lana Turner (Cass Timberlane, By Love Possessed) is a pent up cauldron of middle aged lust who just can’t admit that the progressively wimpy new high school principal is all that she needs to unleash her long repressed inner-hellcat. Her lover has been dead for something like sixteen years and she now believes (as she so eloquently put it during a shouting match with Principal Rossi in her kitchen) that men are all about pawing women and only want one thing. She also proclaims that men are “dirty” which is probably true since I thought that scene was pretty freaking hot! Continue reading “Peyton Place (1957)”