Tyrone Power had much better known films than The Luck of the Irish during his all-too brief film career (tragically cut short at the age of 44 due to a heart attack) such as The Mark of Zorro, The Razor’s Edge, and Nightmare Alley, but his turn as newspaper man Stephen Fitzgerald romancing a pair of women ably demonstrates that he was a star in spite of what was otherwise silly material better suited for a 1980s sitcom than a vehicle for one of the biggest box office draws of his time. Continue reading “The Luck of the Irish (1948)”
Zorro in the Court of Spain (1962)
When there’s no more ass to kick in Mexico, Zorro will go back to Spain and kick ass there! Or to Lusitania to be exact, where a Grand Duke has died, a Grand Duchess is under duress to abdicate in favor of her power mad brother-in-law and where the brother-in-law’s henchman has eyes for Zorro’s cousin/girlfriend Bianca. And you thought Lusitania was just some boat that got sunk, not Peyton Place! Continue reading “Zorro in the Court of Spain (1962)”
Classified Operation (1982)
One man against a torch-weilding mob a hundred strong! Cornered at his Uncle Jose’s country house where he’s vacationing with his wife and child! And being threatened with being burned at the stake like he was just some common action hero witch!
How can even the Filipino army’s most awesome trick shooter defeat these vile villains? Luckily he doesn’t have to because they’re just the townspeople he pissed off during his one man war against the evil but apparently tolerable Commando Falcon who runs the small town of Santa Lucia! Continue reading “Classified Operation (1982)”
Phase IV (2002)
Phase IV pretty much lives down to your expectations of a Canadian-lensed yarn starring Dean Cain (Final Encounter) and Brian “The Boz” Bosworth (Mach 2, the Oklahoma Sooners) about an evil pharmaceutical company trying to cover up that they went and accidentally cured the HIV virus! It’s a film that at least tries hard to be action-packed with frequent car chases, explosions and Dean Cain getting hit in his bad knee over and over. But it is also a film that is effortlessly stupid in its execution of all this. Continue reading “Phase IV (2002)”
Be My Valentine, Charlie Brown (1975)
Be My Valentine, Charlie Brown was the feel bad holiday hit of 1975. It endures to this day, not as some fondly recalled seasonal special, but precisely because of it uncompromising examination of loneliness and disappointment through the lens of the one day of the year set aside to amplify all the insecurities so many people have. And also because us popular cool kids can never get enough of that blockhead Charlie Brown bringing a frigging briefcase to school for all the valentines he thinks he’s going to get! Continue reading “Be My Valentine, Charlie Brown (1975)”
A Special Valentine with the Family Circus (1978)
It’s the question every parent dreads. You can read books, discuss with friends and try to be as comfortable as possible when it finally comes. But the reality is that no matter how much thought you’ve given it and how prepared you think you are , when you are finally hit with the question, invariably even the best parent is a bit flummoxed when she hears “mommy, what’s Valentines Day?” Continue reading “A Special Valentine with the Family Circus (1978)”
Pirate of the Half Moon (1958)
Finally, an Italian swashbuckler that documents the financial hardship endured by lesser nobility in medieval Europe while still delivering to the masses the all-male fetish fights that we secretly watch these movies for.
And if things are generally too talky for most of the film, at least it’s a lot of humorous whiny talk from the stingy Baron about how he can’t really afford to host the duchess or provide enough gun powder to ward off the pirates. You also really don’t mind all that talking whenever our hero Nadir (worst name ever for a hero!) is rocking a costume that looks like his pirate ship docked at the Baron’s castle on the way to a drag queen ball. Continue reading “Pirate of the Half Moon (1958)”