Mrs. Miniver (1942)

~ monsterhunter ~ Leave a comment

To hear my grandpa talk about it, World War II was a time fraught with danger and drama and filled with sacrifice. It was all about men, some only boys, going toe to toe with the Axis war machine and giving them a receipt for Pearl Harbor.

To hear Mrs. Miniver talk about it, World War II was all about how the stupid Germans interrupted the local flower show just as a big upset occurred when the flower raised by the stationmaster beat ten time winner Lady Beldon. What should have been a time of heady celebration and rioting instead turned into a mass panic as Nazi bombs began to rain down on the proceedings. Continue reading “Mrs. Miniver (1942)” →

Mean Tricks (1992)

~ monsterhunter ~ 1 Comment

From the absurdly spectacular slow motion shoot out on the docks that opens the film all the way until star Charles Napier (Hornsby) banters with his local partner Rodriguez and their sexy sidekick about Rodriguez marrying her despite him having heard Hornsby screw her while she was wearing a wire earlier in the movie, Umberto Lenzi‘s Mean Tricks is an appallingly proficient bad ass cop movie that not only delivers every cliche you freaking demand from such films (Rodriguez’s gruff captain is nicknamed Iron Balls!), but in the best Italian movie tradition invents its own along the way! Continue reading “Mean Tricks (1992)” →

Goliath and the Vampires (1961)

~ monsterhunter ~ Leave a comment

Obligatory full disclosure: there isn’t anyone in this movie named Goliath. There is Gordon Scott (Hercules Vs. The Moloch, Samson And The 7 Miracles Of The World) cinching up the leather girdle as some dude named Maciste. Not to worry though because Maciste is pretty much the same in the muscle movie biz as Hercules, having nearly as many crazy adventures under nearly as many aliases as the daring demi-god himself! Continue reading “Goliath and the Vampires (1961)” →

Hercules in the Haunted World (1961)

~ monsterhunter ~ Leave a comment

A fun and colorful film, Hercules in the Haunted World gloriously features Reg Park, one of our beefiest Hercules (his pecs are the size of a mere mortal’s head) and whose acting consists of standing around talking in a dubbed monotone, while periodically swinging giant papier-mâché stones over his head. British horror legend Christopher Lee also shows up as the evil King Lico. Obviously he lost some kind of bet. Continue reading “Hercules in the Haunted World (1961)” →

Ali Baba and the Forty Thieves (1944)

~ monsterhunter ~ Leave a comment

A limp rehash of the Jon Hall/Maria Montez Arabian Nights movie that Universal released the year before. Hall plays the rightful ruler of Baghdad in both who is trying to regain the throne from some pretender, Maria Montez is the acting-challenged red head posing as an exotic beauty who really loves Hall’s character but is being forced to marry the usurper in both, and at some point in each movie the lovebirds have mistaken identity problems which allows the director to drag out the story before the mistake is discovered. Continue reading “Ali Baba and the Forty Thieves (1944)” →

Hercules vs. the Hydra (1960)

~ monsterhunter ~ Leave a comment

In a move that defies any logic (ancient or otherwise) all of the muscle-headed adventure begins because some moron thought it would be a good idea to invade Hercules’ kingdom while he’s out of town and kill his wife. I wasn’t ever too sure what Licos was trying to do by killing Mrs. Hercules, but once he did it, he then doublecrossed his own king and killed him,too!

The thinking here was that Hercules (Mickey Hargitay from Bloody Pit Of Horror) would believe that the king killed his wife, but since the king was dead, there would be no vengeance to take. The people back home would just be told that the king fell honorably in battle and then Licos would be in charge. Well, except for Deianira the daughter of the king, who just became queen and is already betrothed to another guy!

Licos is nonplussed by all this and hatches another diabolically dumb scheme wherein he’ll frame Hercules for the murder of the new queen’s fiancee and then move in on the queen himself. The problem I see with this is that Hercules isn’t the kind of guy who’s going to sit still for some murder trial. Continue reading “Hercules vs. the Hydra (1960)” →