This time all our boys come home! No, really – this time we mean it! Four guys get the idea to head back to the Nam while sitting in a bar listening to a news report about a POW who escaped to freedom. Once the expected bar fight between one of our crazed Vietnam vets and the local loudmouths concludes, they hit the road in search of some information about the POWs who are still back in-country, but what they find is a variety of Italian cinema celebrities! Continue reading “Cobra Mission (1986)”
Manhattan Baby (1982)
Thousands of years ago in ancient Egypt a god was worshipped more horrible than any other! His name was something like Hammybooboo and as the centuries passed, the memory of such a terrifying being was all but forgotten! In fact, an expert Egyptologist advises star Christopher Connelly that only two things are still known about Hammy. One was that he was really cruel. And the other? Utter evil! Continue reading “Manhattan Baby (1982)”
Day of the Dead 2: Contagium (2005)
Let’s just cut to the chase. I can say without any reservation that Day of the Dead 2: Contagium is simply a great movie. For Thermos. Continue reading “Day of the Dead 2: Contagium (2005)”
Day of the Dead (2008)
As expected, Day Of The Dead (2008 edition – now with CGI!) is horrible, but in its defense, it never really gets as horrible as I assumed it would be when my Zombie Movie Obsessive Compulsive Disorder got the better of me and I couldn’t stop myself from watching since it had “dead” in the title.
Sure, there were plenty of reasons to hate this movie (Mena Suvari as a tough as nails soldier? I had to look in the mirror to make sure some zombie virus hadn’t attacked my freaking brain when I heard that one!), but whenever my hatred would edge into murderous loathing territory, Nick Cannon would go and do something like kick a severed zombie head like a soccer ball while dispensing some potty mouthed bit of dialogue! Continue reading “Day of the Dead (2008)”
Day of the Dead (1985)
Director George Romero commits the cardinal sin of attaching a group of completely unlikable characters to a story that not only is uninteresting, but ridiculous, even in a genre that saw a zombie fight a shark (the fast-paced Zombie) and nude anthropology (the wholly superior piece of trash Hell Of The Living Dead). Continue reading “Day of the Dead (1985)”
King of Kings (1961)
As soon as King of Kings began, I felt my heart race and my left arm go numb when the narrator (Orson Welles) intoned that the year is 63 B.C. Maybe I don’t know a whole lot about this religious stuff, but I was smart enough to notice that we were starting things way before Jesus was ever immaculately conceived, let alone bugging Romans. I wondered just how much pre-game hype I was going to have to sit through. After all, I was paying to see a film about Christ and his times, not about how crappy everyone had it until he showed up. Continue reading “King of Kings (1961)”
Django Strikes Again (1987)
The story goes (according to the two minute interview on the DVD) that Franco Nero and his good buddy Nello Rossati were in Columbia shooting Alien Terminator together when they decided they should do a sequel to his classic Spaghetti Western Django. This must have come as a surprise to Sergio Corbucci, who made the original and wasn’t invited to join in, but who am I to begrudge Franco the chance to cash in on the name of Django when every single other person in the Italian film industry had already done so years ago? Continue reading “Django Strikes Again (1987)”