The Haunted Palace helpfully reminds us that people with birth defects should be feared and shunned instead of pitied. Other than that bit of sage advice, the film is nothing more than a cynical effort from director Roger Corman and star Vincent Price built to milk their American International Pictures/Edgar Allan Poe film series until even the viewer begins to feel the cinematic mastitis setting in. And despite the bulk of the movie being based not on a Poe work at all, but on H.P. Lovecraft’s novella The Strange Case Of Charles Dexter Ward! Continue reading “The Haunted Palace (1963)”
Creature (1985)
It’s been a while since I’ve been on any space missions and even longer since I did a hitch on one involving skulking around an ancient alien archeological site, busting open strange storage cases, putting the make on the ship’s sexy computer expert and arguing with the corporate douche aboard whose main mission seems to be to put everyone in as much danger as possible.
But even in my semi-retirement, I still know enough that after battling a space monster who ate almost everyone on your ship, you need to do more than poke him a couple of times after electrocuting his slimy butt before pronouncing him dead and leaving your old lady all by herself with it. Continue reading “Creature (1985)”
The Plague of the Zombies (1966)
You probably remember the tagline from this movie’s poster: When there is no more room in hell, the dead will rise and work in an old abandoned tin mine in Cornwall. You can imagine the terror that strikes in the hearts of out of work miners everywhere. With increased automation, jobs going overseas, and lower wages and benefits, now there’s competition from dead people! And they don’t have to worry about black lung disease because they don’t even breathe! Continue reading “The Plague of the Zombies (1966)”
Witchery (1988)
This film address the ages-old question “which is the most powerful force in the universe, the supernatural or the Hoff?” Continue reading “Witchery (1988)”
Battlefield Baseball (2003)
Easily much better than the previous “greatest movie about baseball in Japan,” 1992’s Mr. Baseball starring Tom Selleck, Battlefield Baseball succeeds because of the relative dearth of baseball-related antics (as well as the dearth of Tom Selleck) and instead uses the trappings of baseball merely as a way to get across its message that everyone wants to feel loved – even a high school baseball team of homicidal mutants. Continue reading “Battlefield Baseball (2003)”
The Terror Within II (1991)
You would think that if there was one person left in a world devastated by plague and ruled by perverted genetic mutant monsters who would understand how to take care of his business, it would be David Pennington (Andrews Stevens). David is a scientist who back in The Terror Within watched in horror as his friends were slaughtered by these monsters, had his woman raped and impregnated by them, and saw that the babies the creatures make grow to adulthood in about ten minutes, ready to start the killing and raping cycle all over again. David even saw his best friend, Butch the Dog, almost killed by these things! Continue reading “The Terror Within II (1991)”
Demonia (1990)
Lucio Fulci only made two more films after Demonia and it makes you realize how much we lost when he died in 1996. Can you imagine how bad the movies would be if he were still alive and making them today? Continue reading “Demonia (1990)”