Once there was a movie called simply enough, Emmanuelle. Released in 1974, it starred Sylvia Kristel as a horny French gal living in Bangkok. Sporting such a powerful plot, the movie easily spawned about seven legitimate sequels. But this isn’t our Emmanuelle. You see our Emanuelle is known as the Black Emanuelle and if she had to sacrifice an “M” in her name to avoid being sued, she more than made up for it by ditching the French softcore style of the original for an even more trashy Italian style! Continue reading
This Brazil-set cannibal epic from one of your off-brand Italian auteurs (Michele Massimo Tarantini) is an entry level one meaning that normal people will be repulsed by its sleazy smorgasbord of violence which includes people shot, impaled, gutted, raped, enslaved, drowning in quicksand, dying in plane wrecks, animal abuse and of course a breast scratched by a triceratops claw. Continue reading
Legendary Italian exploitation film director Bruno Mattei apparently decided that in a career as long and as aimlessly varied as his, it just wouldn’t be complete without one of these jungle barf bag flicks under his belt. And in true Bruno style, when he tackles a project, he does it with as much gusto as the three or four days of shooting will allow a 72 year old man. And also in true Bruno style, he realizes that whatever is worth doing poorly once is worth doing even worse twice and so he also shot Cannibal World in 2003, too! Continue reading
A woman goes down to the Amazon with her brother and her best friend so that she can find proof that cannibalism never has occurred and is in fact just a cruel myth. But how do you prove a negative? Let’s say she goes down there and doesn’t see any cannibalism. What does that prove? Only that on that particular day at that particular time she didn’t see any. I was never real sure about whether she had thought through this whole thing as far as her research methods go, but since this is an Italian cannibal movie, I figured that the point would be moot soon enough! Continue reading
From what I’ve been able to gather from these cannibal movies, the actual presence of primitive tribes practicing cannibalism in today’s world is pretty limited. So how is it then that if these vicious cannibals are invariably “the last of their kind” a “lost tribe” or “thought long extinct” that every stupid group of documentary filmmakers, reporters, fashion models, and businessmen manage to either crash land smack dab in the middle of their territory, or worse yet, mount an expedition that takes them straight into their stew pots? Continue reading
The House by the Cemetery tells the semi-incoherent tale of the Boyle family who doesn’t have the greatest realtor in the world. Norman Boyle is a professor of something or other at a college in New York City. Along with Norman, the Boyles consist of a drug-dependent wife and a little blonde kid with gigantic lips named Bobby who was dubbed by what sounds like a drag queen with very little aptitude for impersonating males.
Norman’s taken the job of finishing the research of a colleague who has committed suicide and killed his mistress. Norman also wants to look into the suicide. Why do people always want to look into that kind of stuff in these movies? Maybe the dead guy was just nuts!
It doesn’t really matter though in this case since Norm’s investigation consists of hanging out at the library and listening to an audio tape. Continue reading
Anthony Wong stars in this movie that is what Dustin Hoffman’s movie Outbreak should have been: a story about a raping and murdering dude who infects a bunch of people with Ebola by tricking them into eating hamburgers made out of human meat. It really isn’t as funny as it probably sounds which is a bit surprising what with all the rapes, murders, cannibalism, and the on-camera slaughter of frogs and chickens. Continue reading
An observation about Vietnam vets and post traumatic stress disorder needs to be made after watching this odd hybrid of the Italian cannibal and Rambo genres. It probably would be better for your mental well-being if you are having flashbacks about how crappy the war was (specifically that time your friends bit you when you were rescuing them from a tiger cage) if your bedroom wasn’t adorned with photos from the war, including a really nicely framed and matted picture of a bunch of stuff blowing up.
John Saxon, the serious-looking dude from Enter The Dragon, plays Norman, the veteran tormented by the fact that his worthless pal bit him and now all these years later, he is starting to get the urge to take bites out of the young skanky neighbor girl. Continue reading