Former piloting mentor turned traitorous bad guy Ratcher (Richard Norton) yells at Vince Connors (Michael Dudikoff) during their climatic dog fight “I’ll out fly you in a school bus!” provoking a chuckle at the thought of the Australian kickboxing movie icon flying around the sky in a big bright yellow bus doing loops and barrel rolls while the Dude looks on in stupefied disbelief.
None of that happened of course and the Dude ends up getting behind Ratcher and executing a move so that one of Ratcher’s own heat seeking missiles blows up him and his school bus fantasy, but it was surely the most memorable moment of a movie that was so generic, it was easily sort of remade as an equally generic Steven Seagal film, Flight of Fury. Continue reading
At long last an action movie that articulates why its climax is taking place at the old abandoned cement factory outside of town. Too often, it seems like everyone just magically teleports to the docks for a final shootout (lots of shipping containers can get blown up and bad guys can end up dramatically floating in the water) or mindlessly cruises over to a power plant because all the catwalks can provide a lot of suspenseful chasing (and bad guys falling to their deaths) and steam valves can get ruptured, filling the area with smoke (and burn bad guys in the face), but without any logical explanation why the action had to shift from where it was happening to these locales. Continue reading
You’ve lived your whole life on the side of law and justice. In your world, there’s right and there’s wrong. And it’s your job, no, it’s your God-given duty to bring evildoers to justice. But what would it take to make you throw away all your beliefs, make you betray every value you held dear? What could possibly drive you to commit the very acts you’ve spent years standing up against? A woman? A family member? A new house? Continue reading
Sometimes when I’m studying these kick fighting movies, I get the distinct impression that no one involved in the movie has any idea what to do in between fight scenes. In Kick Fighter for instance, we are subjected to a birthday party for Kick Fighter’s sister. Continue reading
Michael Dudikoff (Avenging Force, Chain Of Command) is having one of those days at the office. Terrorists have broken into the Dude’s government lab and stolen a bunch of Bromex 365, hijacked a plane with the vice president aboard and are threatening to blow it up over Los Angeles, and if that doesn’t sound like all kinds of overtime, on that same plane is the Dude’s wife! Continue reading
After the end of the civilized world, the survivors must start a new way of life! A way of life that involves driving cars with spikes welded on them! A way of life that sees them dressed in black shoulder pads and football helmets! A way of life that forces them to conduct almost all their action inside an abandoned quarry! And most frightening of all, a way of life where the midget population positively explodes! Continue reading
It’s time for another one of those bargain basement action icon team ups that can occasionally nudge a movie like Cyber Tracker from cyber crapper status all the way up to cyber clunker status!
Much like the Jeff Speakman flick Scorpio One which had the Perfect Weapon take on Brent Huff of Strike Commando 2 fame, Cyber Tracker creams the undiscerning action audience’s jeans with the mouth watering showdown between Don “The Dragon” Wilson and Richard “The Kick Fighter With A Mullet” Norton. Continue reading
One can forgive director Robert Clouse if he went into Ironheart thinking that it was going to be anything other than a wormy turd the size of one of star Bolo Yeung’s pecs. Clouse had previously made a kung fu movie starring a guy named Lee which some have called the greatest of all time. The movie was Enter The Dragon and that particular Lee was of course Bruce. This time around Lee’s first name is Britton. As in not-so-great Britton. Continue reading
They killed his favorite prostitute! They framed him for her murder! Sent to prison where he must learn to survive using only the skills that have made him the single best kickboxer in all of southeast Asia, Jack Dammeron’s life is about to get much worse!
His attorney, the very best legal beagle in all of southeast Asia is none other than his wife! Can she put aside her irritation with Jack for screwing hookers on business trips while he’s too self-centered to agree to have children with her to get an acquittal?
But her life is about to get much worse! She turns out to be pregnant! And the only way out of this serpentine mess is through the most dreaded of all competitions! Deathfight! Continue reading
This time all our boys come home! No, really! Even if they got leprosy! Eww! Ickiest POW rescue mission ever! But that makes it even more personal for Straker (Richard Norton) who goes back to the biggest leper colony of them all, Southeast Asia, to bust out all the guys from his crew that never made it back to the States with him when the Vietnam War ended! Why is it more personal? Um, because they’re all freaking lepers! That’s pretty heinous, even by the usual abominably inhumane standards of Charlie!
A lot of you wuss civilians out there would probably look upon a “no chance in hell, government will deny all responsibility if you’re caught” mission behind enemy lines as a pain in the ass.
I’ll tell you though, when you’re living the life and all you know is the Special Forces and it’s like the war never ended for you and every guy you ever loved as a brother is just a memory, getting one of these gigs that allows you to go back to doing what you know best (killing Commies) is kind of like winning the lottery. Especially for guys like Straker! Continue reading